Chapter 3: The Toupee Conspiracy and Wanda's Hairbrush
Some people dream of fame, others of fortune. Adam? He dreamt of a HYDRA scientist tripping over his own dignity while holding a sandwich. It was beautiful, artistic—a performance worthy of Oscars and mop buckets.
He lay flat on the cold floor of his containment cell, holding a torn piece of aluminum foil angled toward the hallway. A few wires from a previously "borrowed" circuit box fed a faint charge into the metal, allowing him to view distorted reflections from around the corner. Like a perverted MacGyver with a PhD in trolling.
"Okay," he muttered, adjusting the foil. "Show me that bald glory, Dr. Vesic. Daddy needs a win."
And like a cue from the prank gods, the man himself strutted into view—thin, stiff, and wearing his dead-cat toupee like it was a crown forged in a factory that hated hairlines.
"Time to shine," Adam grinned.
Step 1: Toothpaste in his coffee. Already done this morning. Vesic had screamed about "chemical sabotage" and demanded a toxicology report.
Step 2: Rewire his voice recorder to play moaning goats instead of lab notes. Done last night. Still worth it.
Step 3: Tug on the fragile thread of his remaining dignity.
And for that, Adam had baited a trap.
Using Wit's Starter Spark, he animated a custom illusion—a lovely breeze that would lift a man's toupee just slightly, make him check it nervously, and then… strike.
The scientist paused. His toupee lifted ever so slightly. He reached up. "Not again…"
That's when the second part kicked in—Adam had wedged a small, spring-loaded fork into the doorframe. When triggered by motion (like panicked hair adjustments), it launched upward.
FWOOMP.
The fork hit the toupee dead-on. It spiraled in the air like a depressed frisbee before landing in the cereal bowl of a passing lab assistant.
Everyone froze. Then laughter. Loud, unrestricted laughter. Even the ever-serious twins' guards chuckled.
But best of all—
"Pfft—ha!" came a sharp breathy laugh from the room next to Adam's.
Wanda.
Adam rolled onto his back and cackled to himself. "I am a menace. A walking middle finger to tyranny. And now... I have Wanda's attention."
—
That evening, Adam sat meditating—not out of discipline, but because he was bored, and trying to imagine what a unicorn fart would look like when weaponized.
He was interrupted by soft footsteps and a clink. A small object was slid under his door.
A hairbrush.
He blinked. It wasn't standard issue. It was pink. Slightly sparkly. A note was attached in scrawled handwriting:
"For the next time you want to tease someone about hair. —W."
He held the brush like it was made of diamonds. "This is the single greatest diplomatic gesture I've ever received."
Meanwhile, guards were whispering about the incident all day. One even dropped his keycard in front of Adam's cell. Adam pocketed it casually.
"Things," he whispered, "are getting spicy."
—
📜 STAT & SYSTEM SUMMARY 📜
Base Stats:
• Strength: 6
• Speed: 6
• Stamina: 6
• Intelligence: 10
Magic Points (MP): 1000 MP
Pranker Bucks: $900
Skill Cards:
• Wit's Starter Spark – Minor prank illusions (Cost: 10 MP)
• Arcane Antics – Magical mischief. Power scales with pranks on Wanda. Upgradeable. (Cost: Varies)
System Notes:
• System Store unlocks when all stats reach 15
• Pranker Bucks can be converted to cash at $10 per point
• Facility escape locked until Chapter 10
• Wanda's brush added to Sentimental Inventory – may trigger events