Chapter 4: Zoom, Zing, and Pietro's Pants
Adam's growing confidence was matched only by his complete disregard for HYDRA protocol. He had begun holding invisible staff meetings in his cell, seated cross-legged and muttering like a caffeinated dungeon master.
"So, agenda today," he said to no one, using a piece of stale bread as a gavel. "Item one: continue Wanda charm offensive. Item two: escalate psychological warfare against Dr. Toupee. Item three…" He paused dramatically, "annoy Pietro Maximoff until he contemplates a career in therapy."
Because today, Adam was gunning for the silver-haired speedster himself.
Pietro—blessed with godlike speed and the personality of a microwave set to 'sassy'—was a tough nut to prank. But Adam had a secret weapon: a bootleg rubber band cannon made from tray springs, old wires, and a spoon he'd traded for two insults and a limerick.
Adam's plan? Simple. Lure Pietro into running through the corridor like he always did—doing laps to "stay sharp"—and bait him with a faux challenge.
He scribbled a note and taped it to the floor:
"Fastest guy alive? I've seen snails outpace you. Prove me wrong, Speedy Smurf. —A."
Bait deployed.
Minutes later, whoosh.
Pietro zipped past, paused, reversed, and read the note. "What the hell?"
Adam, watching through his vent, smirked. "Gotcha."
The trap was set. When Pietro raced down the corridor a second time, he triggered a subtle illusion—light flickers and subtle misdirection, courtesy of Wit's Starter Spark. Combined with a carefully planted bar of soap (liberated from Dr. Vesic's shower stash), it created… well, chaos.
Pietro slipped.
Time slowed (ironically), and the speedster performed a mid-air pirouette that would've earned a standing ovation in any ballet school… before landing squarely on his butt in full view of the guards.
Even better—his tracksuit pants ripped.
riiiiip
The silence was glorious. Then came the laughter.
Wanda chuckled audibly. "Nice socks," she muttered. They were pink. With ducks.
Adam fist-pumped. "And that, kids, is how you pants a demigod."
Later, during dinner delivery, Pietro himself stalked past Adam's cell. "You think you're clever?"
"I think," Adam replied, "that I'd pay real money for the duck sock origin story."
"Those were a gift."
"Oh? From a romantic partner or a cruel grandmother?"
Wanda laughed again. Pietro stormed off, muttering something in Sokovian that Adam assumed translated to "Eat my velocity."
Back in his cell, Adam was buzzing with adrenaline. Magic? Speed? Quips for days? This was better than therapy.
He sat cross-legged once more. "Item four: Design custom cape with glitter that says 'Speed is Overrated.'"
He was just getting started.
—
📜 STAT & SYSTEM SUMMARY 📜
Base Stats:
• Strength: 6
• Speed: 7 (+1)
• Stamina: 6
• Intelligence: 10
Magic Points (MP): 1000 MP
Pranker Bucks: $1,400
• Can be converted at $10 per Buck or used in System Store (locked until all stats hit 15)
Skill Cards:
• Wit's Starter Spark – Minor illusion (10 MP)
• Arcane Antics – Magical mischief. Grows stronger with Wanda pranks. Upgradeable.
• Velocity Vortex – 1 min of 5x Speed. Grows stronger with Pietro pranks. Upgradeable.
System Notes:
• First Skill Card unlock grants permanent MP system
• System Store remains locked until all stats reach 15
• Facility escape locked until Chapter 10