By the time Alijah had his fill of me, I was entirely numb, panting for air. Somehow, my consciousness had kept up with the wolf, who also held me out of breath. My mind was jumbled, making it hard to form any words.
My body was no longer mine as it twitched at the slightest touch from him. He appeared to be worn out when he suddenly tumbled down with me on him. Luckily, he landed sitting down behind the couch in the living room.
A slight chuckle left him when we found ourselves still connected. The smile that arose on his lips triggered my heart to throb.
None of this is fair.
I had taken a bite of forbidden fruit. Even though my body was exhausted and had done things I thought I could never do, I desired more, but the drug was probably out of his system.
You'd never touch me like that again. I need to control myself. This… was nothing more than a treatment.
It took everything within me to fight the urge to kiss Alijah, trying to fight the haze that my mind had become.
This probably meant nothing to you. Well, not like what it meant to me, at least. Argh… Why do I torture myself with this desire for something that I'll never have again? Why don't you make me cry in pain rather than in pleasure?
No, I'm also at fault. I should've run away when I had the chance.
Wanting to get off Alijah, I tried to stand up, only for my legs to fail me, sending me down onto him again. A whine left our lips when I fell back onto him, triggering him to fill me to the brim. He chuckled again, causing my cheeks to turn bright pink.
Hearing him enjoy what had happened, I felt nothing more than pure embarrassment. Instead of letting me run as I wanted, he grabbed onto my hips, holding me in place.
"If... you're going to do that, then how about you move properly," Alijah smirked.
In response, I growled at him, shaking my head. Though all it did was make his grip on me tighten.
Your expression isn't fair.
He was having fun and enjoying himself, even though he had been drugged. Well, he did it to himself without really wanting to.
Doesn't it bring you any terrible memories?
His gaze…
Please... don't look at me that way... I'll get the wrong idea.
If that were to happen, well, I wouldn't be able to let go.
"I wanted to get off you." I pouted a bit, trying to hide everything I was feeling.
Alijah licked my lips, prompting me to tense up and triggering him to whine upon feeling my walls clamp down on his heat.
"Fuck, you're…" He trailed off, thrusting into me again.
I held onto him for dear life when mewls erupted from me.
Everything's so unfair. I can't… yank myself away.
Though pleasure soon radiated through me again. Before I knew it, he stole my lips, allowing a feverous kiss to follow—one I fully indulged in. The warmth of his tongue on mine made me tremble. After several more moments of cossetting himself with me, he pulled away from me as a thin saliva string connected us.
Oh, how I want to yank you back into me.
"Fuck... Sorry... You wanted to stop, right?" Alijah sighed, slightly tugging away from me so his head popped out.
I saw everything he had to offer the moment he did, and it almost killed me. He didn't let me have a heart attack, though. No, he tugged me into his chest, wrapping his tail around my waist.
"Stay here with me for a bit," Alijah whispered, holding me, showing nothing of his hostility towards Wyatt.
Unable to help it, I rested on my gentle wolf's chest for a few seconds, trying to catch my breath, but it quickly turned into something else when I stole a peek at him. He was pale and somewhat out of it, which worried me.
When was the last time we ate? Damn it, you haven't even slept this whole time, have you?
I slowly reached to touch his cheeks, only for Alijah to grab onto my hand, kissing it lightly. The dark circles under his eyes were so prevalent that I couldn't stay still. Even though we were both exhausted, I had to find some energy to replenish ourselves.
Even though he had let it known he desired me to stay with him, I pushed myself away. I had the most energy out of the two of us. Going past my limit, I struggled to grab my pants and put them on.
The poor wolf sat there with the worst hangover he had felt in thousands of years. However, that didn't stop his snarky comments.
"I thought you were the type to cuddle after, not run," Alijah complained, making me want to throw the first thing I held at him.
The nerve of this wolf!
If he didn't look like he was about to die, I probably would've thrown something at him, but that didn't mean I would stay quiet.
"You look like you're dying! Who would cuddle with a corpse?!" I growled, stomping away towards the kitchen.
My wolf nervously chuckled, "Right."
He wasn't okay, even though I had given him an outlet with my body. Urgently, he needed something in his system to fight off what was left. Walking past the real cadaver in the room, I opened the fridge, grabbing the jug of water and ham.
With everything at hand, I slowly returned to my wolf with my shaky legs. Luckily, I made it in one piece and with everything at hand. He almost chugged the water in one go before biting the ham.
Unlike the meat I had gotten him, I preferred some crackers. My appetite wasn't the best, especially after everything that had happened. While he ate, I pondered our situation, thinking about our next move. We couldn't leave this house like this for everyone to find, particularly everything that happened in that room.
I couldn't help but gaze at it as it made my heart flutter.
How can I ever face Alijah with a straight face again? If only I could forget about the feelings that are rushing through me. I feel so warm.
Shaking my head, I bit my lip.
Damn it, I have to focus on what we need to do so we can keep going.
Fortunately, it was night, making our getaway easier. After finishing the crackers, I closed my eyes, sitting next to my wolf.
Is there any way to get rid of everything we did?
However, my wolf had other plans when he suddenly pulled me closer to him after eating what I had brought him.
"How are you feeling?" Alijah asked as my gaze shifted towards him.
Some color had returned to him, although his dark eyes were still prevalent. It was hard to hide the embarrassment from everything that flashed into my mind when he asked. Instinctively, I darted my gaze towards the floor.
"I'm fine," I mumbled.
A soft hum came from him before he suddenly yanked me onto him. I found myself between his legs and back, resting against his chest.
This brought back memories of...
"I'm sorry for doing all that to you." He apologized, triggering a gut-wrenching feeling in my stomach.
Even though he held me so tightly and warmly, it hurt to hear him say that.
Would you have apologized to Lilith, too? I doubt it.
He probably regretted holding me altogether.
Was I that bad? Or is it something else? Are my insecurities making me paranoid? Probably. Don't think too deeply. This wolf is probably scared you'll retaliate with an order.
"You don't have to ask for forgiveness, Alijah-tan." I tried to stay calm, attempting to be my usual self.
That's what normal Rem would've said, right? Right?
In my chest, though, there was a hole that wouldn't be plugged up soon. This had to be divine punishment for something. My love for him was hard to contain.
"Rem..." He mumbled.
I shook my head, trying to shake the tone of voice he used. It was almost as if my reply surprised him. Even though I didn't want to, I turned to face him.
I can't let you get the wrong idea. You're nothing like that elf or like the people who raped you.
If anything, I had taken advantage of the whole situation.
Yes… This is all me.
The elves outside were still burning incense throughout the night. Any wind would blow them into the house. It almost smelled like a flower field. While I was in Alijah's arms, it didn't bother me. However, I could tell why Caden and Aiden were struggling.
Even Alijah's nose should've been bothered by it.
"It's not... like I disliked it. Unless you..." I struggled to say.
My heart was beating erratically as a knot formed in my throat. I didn't know where I was going with this, yet I knew I couldn't let him think I didn't enjoy my time with him. My words caused Alijah's cheeks to turn pink, prompting my gaze to shoot back onto the floor.
I was going to misunderstand him.
Hey... can I tell you... that I love you? Surely, it'll only bother you to know, right?
"Oi... you really are stupid, aren't you?" Alijah sighed with a playful smile on his lips.
He cupped my cheeks into his hands and ensured I was facing him. His gentle eyes left me wishing to kiss him again.
"I..." he struggled to find the right words.
It had been years since he had anything other than a curse to say to someone.
"Look, I'm not good with words, Rem. Sadly, that was taken from me a long time ago. So, don't get me wrong when I say you've been a first for me. Holding you felt so right that I couldn't control myself." The flustered wolf stopped momentarily, laying his head on my bosom.
Huh? What's…
Instinctively, I hugged him.
Hey, Alijah, could I please have a piece of your heart? Even a small part would be enough.
"I did so many things to you. Are you sure you won't regret it? What we did isn't what a girl looks for the first time." He sighed.
Unable to stop, I petted his hair, enjoying that he allowed me to do what I pleased. I could even smother his ears.
They're so fluffy. I had always thought you'd bite me if I tried.
"I'm fine with everything we did, Alijah," I answered.
Only because it's you. Though, I probably sound like a slut for saying that.
It didn't matter how I sounded. This wolf knew I had never been with anyone else. The euphoria rushing through me left me wondering if it was okay to be in this much bliss. However, having this hope swelling within my heart was dangerous.
This has all been a wish come true. I want no one else to touch me that way. Even less to do all those embarrassing things you stimulated my body to enact. That had never happened in all the dreams I had with you before.
I wouldn't have minded if Alijah wanted to do them all over again, but I couldn't get ahead of myself. It wasn't like he told me he loved me.
Even if you did, would it last when you saw Lilith again?