Pinned by a simple question, I struggled to answer the wolf before me.
"I-I..." I tried to start but lost my voice when Alijah grabbed my chin.
His eyes were too enticing for me as his words filled my heart with a hope that I never thought I could allow myself to feel.
Am I not delusional? That was me? Somehow, against all odds… Could it have been me!? Please…
"The way you're looking at me is triggering me, Rem," He smirked, leaning to kiss me.
However, I finally burst open before he could fully reach to seal my lips.
"I used to have dreams about you every day!" I suddenly declared, stopping him right in his tracks.
"What?" He chuckled, "You're so random."
No, I… This isn't a joke!
I growled, grabbing onto his cheeks and stopping his laughter.
"It's not random! When I was younger, I saw my mom's drawing of you, which triggered something in me. Then, after that, I dreamed about you every night, and you aren't different from who I was with!" I ranted.
Alijah pulled me towards him, making me land on his lap. My hands barely held me up on his shoulders.
"Oi, you mean you had nightmares about a man set on destroying the world?" His previous warmth disappeared as his eyes turned colder towards me.
Ah… you don't believe me!
I wouldn't allow him to misunderstand me, though. It was okay if he thought I was delusional, but at least I would show him all my heart could give him until he decided between me and his true love.
"No... I mean... At first, you were a cold grump, but each night I dreamt of you, I melted your heart, and then I..." I stopped for a moment to gaze up at Alijah's face.
His cheeks seemed to have gone light pink, which also flustered me.
"What?" He breathed, slanting his ears.
Did I say something weird?
Though his reaction was also rather cute, I always wanted him to respond to me like that. All the coldness from before had vanished from his eyes as they filled with a different emotion.
Don't stop now, Rem... keep melting his heart.
"None of that matters. I fell in love with you again when I first saw you in the howling forest." I confessed, knowing it would only bring me agony in the end.
Nothing good would come from him knowing all of this, yet I wanted him to know.
Why can't I hold back? Oh… that's right… because I want to shower you with all the affection I have. So… when the time comes, I have no regrets.
"Even though I tried to kill you?" Alijah tried to push back, eyes growing a bit icy again.
After everything you went through, I don't blame you for not believing me. Hey, Alijah, how many people told you those words before hurting you? I… promise I won't hurt you willingly.
Pulling myself up, I kissed his forehead as he tugged away to meet my eyes.
"You didn't try to kill me. If you did, I would've been dead." I pointed out.
Alijah released a nervous chuckle, "I hesitated."
Yes, and that gave me the chance to bond you to me.
"Why didn't you kill me that night?" I asked, hoping he would say he felt the same as I had that night.
That lightning had struck you, making you realize I was the love of your life. Stupid, I know. That's a dream that will never come true.
Yet I desired it so much to be loved by this man.
To be more than just a simple fuck.
"I... I don't know." Alijah sighed.
I tried to hold my disappointment in check as my heart dropped. His answer made me feel like I could shatter into a million pieces. It wouldn't be long before the tears would rush through as they stung my eyes.
I must stop them. All of this was me, not you. It's wrong of me to push my emotions into you like I'm doing.
"I see." I tried to tug myself away, only for him to hold me in place.
"Rem," His voice was shaky as I closed my eyes.
Do you want me to address it further? Why can't you reject me and be done with it? Is it because of the bond? No… it's because of what you promised me earlier.
A simple fuck was all that awaited me, yet I couldn't reject it. His touch was addicting, and I wanted more while I could have it.
"You don't have to do this. If my feelings for you… bother you. I'm sorry I won't touch you—" Before I could finish that thought, Alijah grabbed me by my chin, forcing me to gaze at him.
I was about to break as tears trailed down my cheeks again.
"Your feelings don't bother me, Rem. I just can't understand them. I'm not a good person." He assured, as his expression only showed how troubled he was about this.
This wolf was tired of fighting off the emotions I had been trying to show him since I met him. It scared him to know someone like me existed in the world. Before I knew it, he went to pull me for a kiss, only for me to push away from him.
There was something I needed to ask him before the simple, unemotional fucking began—something that needed to be said before anything else, or else I would break under pressure. My shoulders already felt so heavy.
"Then... Can I continue loving you?" I asked,
My question made Alijah appear flustered, shaking his head. "What? Sweetheart, I can't choose that for you."
That would be another memory that I would engrave into my mind. Even though I knew it would end in agony, I couldn't stop myself. I needed to see if it was okay.
"I want to love you. So, can I love you, Alijah?" I asked again, placing my arms around his neck and slowly getting closer to his lips.
Can I try to own your heart? Just to try... I would love that. Please… don't break me.
"I want you to," he whispered.
A second later, my lips touched his lightly.
I have to stop worrying about what's coming and enjoy the moment. If the time comes when you tell me to leave, then I will. So, in the meantime, I'll stop hesitating and live in this dream. Perhaps I'll never wake up from it.
I pulled away slightly, smiling, prompting him to clasp the back of my head and pull me into another, but I stopped him by placing my fingertips on his lips.
"Then... I'll shower you with so much love until you're fed up with me," I promised.
"Such a fool," Alijah growled before drawing me into a much deeper kiss than all the others.
His tongue caressed mine while I unbuttoned his shirt.
I have to burn everything into memory so that I can always visit it in my fantasies when it vanishes.
Dreams that I wished would return when he was no longer on my side. My hands roamed his chest when he was free from his shirt while his limbs remained firm on my hips. They almost appeared hesitant to move.
Pulling away from his chest, I grabbed his palms when he tugged away from the kiss for fresh air.
"You don't want to touch me?" I asked, a bit out of breath, dragging one of Alijah's hands from my hips to my breast over my shirt.
It fit perfectly in his palm, not that he was small like my bosom. Instinctively, he squeezed it gently, sending shivers down my spine.
"No, I want to, but can I do that?" Alijah asked, shaking his head.
I gazed at him, confused, as something ominous built inside me. I wondered the meaning behind every time he asked me if he could do anything.
"After everything we've done. Why do you even ask that?" I questioned, reaching for him.
He bit his lip, wincing soon after.
Ah… is it from your abuse or something else?
"A habit, sorry." He apologized, gazing away from me.
I grabbed onto his cheeks, huffing myself up.
That's unacceptable!
"No... never apologize. Alijah, you don't have to ask to touch or fuck me. I'm yours to do what you want with. My entire being is yours to do as you please." I assured him.
"Rem, don't say that." He mumbled, shifting his gaze down towards the floor.
"No, it's true! You don't need my permission because I always want to be held by you. Even if it's painful, I'll always want you." I reassured him, prompting his glance to find mine again.
Even if you leave me… I'll always want you!
He disagreed with what came out of me, but his eyes seemed tender towards me.
"Rem, I won't hurt you like I did when I—" Alijah tried to argue with me, but there wasn't any reason to hold these emotions back.
"I don't care if you make me bleed. Just hold me tightly, please!" I simpered, holding back words that would be binding.
And never let me go.
I would never make Alijah choose me. When those words left me, he clashed his lips with mine as his hands found their way to my breast, triggering jitters to erupt from me. Pulling away from our sweet kiss, he gently pinched my nobs between his fingers, prompting me to yelp.
"That's the only type of pain you'll ever feel from me." He smirked, leaving me somewhat fuzzy.
"Okay, I like that too," I whispered, simpering.
"Hah, you aren't a half-wolf; you're a little vixen." Alijah cooed, ridding me of any cloth that covered me before kissing me again.
A soft mewl left me when his fingers found their way into me, pumping them at a steady pace to ready me for the main course.
Tugging away from my lips, it wasn't long until he leaned down to suckle on one of my nipples, allowing me, allowing me to trail my hands through his hair.
"Hm, I love you," I professed, making his lips pop on my areola.
A second later, a feverous make-out followed my words as our tongues tangoed with one another while I undid his pants. Tugging away his fingers from my depths, it wasn't long until I felt his tip press against it.
My eyes darted toward our connection as a sharp whine left my lips when he slipped it in. Compared to the previous days, there was no slight discomfort. This meant all I felt was pleasure when he suddenly rammed himself into me.
"Rem, by the gods, you're addicting as fuck." He huffed, moving at his usual animalistic rhythm.
Unable to keep to myself, I licked his lips as his tongue met with mine soon after. Even though he was rough, the way he caressed my walls was tender. There wasn't an ounce of pain since he always made sure I was lubricated enough.
Unlike our first time…
Grabbing onto his hair, I indulged in his kisses that drowned much of my mewls. The soft grass under me didn't hurt my back, which allowed him to make a mess of me without worrying about hurting me.
In turn, all I felt was pure pleasure throbbing within me as I couldn't help but curl my toes as I clung to him with push and pull. Even though this happiness wasn't mine, it made me feel like I was in the clouds.
Alijah accepted my feelings, and that made me feel bliss. My hips bucked on their own, causing my wolf to grasp on my bum for better support. Pulling away from my lips, a saliva string connected us, as some of it dripped from my lips and his.
A knot had formed in my belly as my vision blurred at times.
"Alijah, I-I feel—" I mewled, unable to finish that thought.
"I know, you're clenching on me so tightly." He smirked, enjoying the feeling of being in me.
"Am I good?" I panted for air, hoping he felt the same as me.
"What a useless thought." He shoved himself into me, causing me to whine.
Fixing his hair, sweat dripped from him and onto me before sliding onto the ground below.
"Alijah! I'm so full!" I squealed, feeling him kiss my cervix with his tip.
"Ah, you're the best I've ever had, Rem. Give me more." He licked his lips before a smirk formed on them.
His answer caused my heart to race. It almost seemed like I could see doubles as my legs tightly coiled around his hips.
"Fuck! Don't get tighter. I can barely…" He trailed off, thrusting himself into me again.
"Alijah!" I mewled, gripping my hands on his shoulders.
"Fuck it, I'm going to knot you so hard." My wolf breathed, nipping my ear as I could barely follow anything other than his movements.
"Please, fill me up more!" I whined loudly as he became sluggish with his shoves.
I knew he was about to reward me for all the times he had held me.
"Alijah, I love you!" I mewled, clashing his lips.
My tongue invaded his cavity, and his grip on my bum grew tighter before he suddenly thrust himself into me. It felt like he filled me to the brim before moaning, holding himself in place as my walls suddenly clamped down on him.
His sound made me deepen our connection, unable to hold myself back as his voice rippled through my entire body. It wasn't like he stayed behind as his tongue feverously tangoed with mine, leaving my body convulsing under him as my mind whited out.
My voice suddenly wasn't mine as my entire core felt like I would melt along with him that pulsated within me—a soft chuckle left his lips upon feeling me tremble under him.
"Fuck, you're adorable, Rem. I haven't even fully knotted you, yet you clamp down on me." He breathed, eyes shimmering.
"I… I… I'm sorry. I thought…" I mumbled, barely able to follow long.
Cupping my cheek in his hand, he guided my gaze to meet his: "Don't apologize for reacting so passionately to me. It's a first for me. I came so hard when you did that."
First?!
Before that thought fully formed, his lips found mine as he kneaded one of my breasts while slowly picking up his previous rhythm as my walls struggled to let go of him entirely. Drawing away from our kiss, he leaned into my ear.
"You're still so tight even though I didn't swell. Does it hurt?" He breathed, shoving his warmth deep within my core.
"No! More!" I demanded as he silenced me with another lock of our lips.
This led to multiple releases from me while he only had one. However, when he reached his peak the second time, he ground himself into me, swelling within me and locking us in place. Instinctively, his action triggered me to find my release for the fifth time since we began.
It was almost unfair. All I could do was pant for air as my body trembled in pleasure and consciousness wavered.
Cupping onto my cheeks, he pressed his lips against my jawline.
"Are you okay?" He panted, shifting his gaze towards the flames.
I slowly nodded, feeling frazzled.
"Hm… Food will be ready soon," Alijah announced, shifting his gaze back to me before lightly kissing my lips.
He trailed down his affection towards my neck when I felt his tongue and fangs gently pressed against it.
"Ali… my mind is all muddled." I whimpered, shivering at his every touch.
He pulled away, smirking at me. "I know, baby girl. Once the knot goes down, let's get dressed to eat. Unless you want more of me?"
A soft hum left my lips before I hugged him back into a kiss—one he welcomed, allowing me to play with his tongue. Tugging away from him slightly, I nibbled on his bottom lip.
"I could never have enough of you." I tried to tempt.
My unsuspected action caused the wolf to chuckle nervously before he pressed my forehead against his and brushed his lips against mine.
"Well, it's good we have all the time in the world for you to have your fill of me, but the food will burn if we don't tend to it soon. So after you eat, if you want more, all you have to do is say it." He smiled as I felt a sting in my chest that snapped me out of the bliss I found myself in.
Those words are probably empty, yet I can't help but feel hopeful.
After a few more sweet moments, he tugged away and fixed his pants as I grabbed onto my clothes and placed them on. However, it wasn't long until I found my way next to Alijah, eating the meal he had brought.
Even though I had enjoyed my time with him, my mind was plagued by the day he would leave.