[Nicole]
I woke up this morning feeling…off like I felt yesterday morning, and the morning before that.
It wasn't fatigue. It was more like something heavy was placed on me while I slept. My back ached, and when I tried to sit up, a wave of nausea seized me, sharp and sudden. I pressed a hand to my stomach and chest hoping it would pass but it didn't.
I sat there on the edge of the bed, staring at nothing, my heart ticking faster than it should. Something wasn't right and I could feel it. My whole body felt strange.
Maybe it was stress. God knows I've had enough of that lately, all thanks to Leonard. Or maybe I ate something weird. I told myself as I rubbed my hands over my face, trying in vain to recall what I ate last night. The bitter taste in my mouth did not agree, neither did the heaviness pressing against my chest.
I turned to the empty side of the bed which used to be Clara's, and wished desperately that we still shared the bond we used to. I wouldn't have to suffer alone like I am now.
The nausea which seemed to have subsided only a few seconds ago suddenly surged up, and sent me out of the bed with lightning speed. I threw the blanket off me, and raced to the sink.
I Clutched the edge of the sink as bile burned its way up my throat. Everything from last night came up in choking waves until there was nothing left but the bitter aftertaste of retch.
I stayed sprawled on the floor for some time, completely drained of strength. Instinctively, I wiped off the tears from my eyes, just as I heard the gurgling sound made by my stomach.
I can't possibly be hungry right now, my mouth still has the remnants of retching, and my whole body still hurts like hell. If anything, I should be irritated. Not hungry.
My stomach chose that moment to gurgle again, this time more violently.
*********
"You're wasting time." Clara called out, annoyed. She was standing by the door, all dressed up, and ready to leave for work. She either did not notice how sickly and tired I looked or she just didn't care.
I put away the half filled cup of tea from which I drank, and the few slices of bread that remained on the plate. Like most days recently, Clara had skipped breakfast, and instead breathed on my neck to hurry up. Unlike Clara, I couldn't for the life of me skip breakfast, my recent hearty appetite would not allow it.
It was strange how our peaceful coexistence had turned sour, and the fact that I could not tell why only made me worry the more. Two nights ago, I had a talk with Clara in the room she now occupies, and her assurances that all was well hadn't repaired our friendship which I believe is broken.
After long nights of racking my brain, the only thing that made sense to me was that I had exhausted my welcome. She might be acting out because she wants her space back, and I have decided to move out by the end of the month, which was less than two weeks from today.
I got into my usual spot in Clara's car, prepared for another silent ride to the office. Our bond which was at its strongest just a few weeks ago had grown cold and nonexistent.
The silence stretched on, awkward and tense. While Clara focused on the road, I thought about the past three mornings which were marked by strange feelings and throwing up, wondering what could be wrong with me. Even though working directly for Leonard hasn't been all easy, it still was way better than working for Louis. Although I had his best friend Idris to thank for that.
"I have been thinking," I said after some time, breaking the uncomfortable silence. I half expected an urging from Clara to continue but none came.
"You have been the best friend anyone could ask for, and I'm entirely grateful." I added, stalling the main point. I watched the side of Clara's face as she focused on the road in search of a clue, however little, but there was none.
"I'm getting my own apartment." I told her, and waited. Waited for a reply I was sure would come.
"Oh," She said, "Hope it has nothing to do with my new sleeping arrangements?" She asked after a few seconds.
"Of course not." I replied just as we drove past the State's health care centre. I went for a medical test yesterday during break, and at my request, the test results will be delivered to the office today by noon.
"Then why do you moving out?" Clara asked, and I couldn't tell if the edge on her voice was concern or irritation.
"Come on, I can't live off you forever." I replied instead even though I was tempted to tell her how hellish living with her had been these past few weeks.
I considered telling her how sick I have been these past few days, and the test results that will be arriving at the office today but I wasn't sure what her response would be. I didn't want to be pitied or worse still still, mocked since Clara has become no less of a stranger to me.
"If you're moving out because you feel like we are now distant from each other, I'm sorry. And you really don't have to move out." Clara said after long minutes, pulling up in the parking lot of Litt's int'l.
I stepped out of the car, following Clara and we made our way into the building.
***********
I looked away from my computer, and let my gaze rest briefly on the wall clock opposite me. It was 12:19 PM, and nineteen minutes into lunch break. Of course I have had my lunch. The test results which were supposed to be delivered thirty minutes ago were yet to be delivered, and as much as I tried to tame it, I was beginning to feel anxious.
What happened to keeping to time? I asked myself, forcing my gaze back to my system even though I had spent the last thirty minutes staring absentmindedly at the screen.
I looked up quickly some minutes later when I heard the sound of a door opening up, seriously hoping my test results had arrived, but it was only Leonard, stepping out of his office. Behind him was Idris, cheerful as usual. Both men had their briefcases in their hand, and from all indications, they were leaving the office and the vicinity at large.
"Sir, I should…" I started to say, heading towards him to relieve him of his briefcase but he brushed me off with a wave, and headed for the exit.
Jerk! I cussed in my head in anger, as I stood there, deep in embarrassment. He stopped moving at once, and rested his gaze on me, and for a brief moment I feared he heard me cuss at him or my expression showed it. I hid my fear by looking down, and wished he would leave already.
"You can take the rest of the day off." He said after sometime, and resumed his walk to the exit.
Could it be that he is sorry? I thought, and rebuked myself the next instant. He is Leonard Richardson Litt, and he is never sorry or even wrong.
"We are going on a tour around town." Idris offered in a polite tone, flashing one of his big smiles at me. His expression earlier showed he did not support his friend's outright show of disrespect to me. I caught myself smiling after him, somewhat relieved that I didn't have to be disrespected by both men.
I eased back on my chair and watched them go, relieved that I did not have to perform any assignment at the moment. He can go to hell for all I care.
Forcing my attention back to my system now was pointless, I was too restless.
I stood up for the second time, impatience written all over me, just as the door pulled open, and a lady stepped in. She wore a t-shirt bearing the state's teaching hospital writing and logo all over it. I said a silent prayer, willing my results to be favourable.
"Sign here." the young lady said, handing me a pen, and pointing at a spot on the book she carried.
"Thank you." I mumbled, handing the pen back to her after inscribing my signature on the space she pointed. I tore out the medical report from the envelope, with my now shaky hands. Strange!
I had no idea what the results contained, or why my hands suddenly became unsteady.
I opened it nonetheless, and skimmed through. My gaze focused on the part which was marked pregnancy status, and my heart stopped once I saw the result.