I can't help being here whenever I think of him. I push myself through the gas station, talk with a stranger with a fucking goddamn helmet. I have faced all the fear, but I don't know if I am ready to face him, Zygmunt—is he really alive? Is he really back?
Here I am, at the same place in the corner of the end of the street, in front of his house. I look up at the home, an abandoned house that is dark and has no light. I turn my eyes to search for the bike—there's nothing behind the fences anymore.
That biker must move it already.
I look up at the second floor of the house again and wait,
I hope to see some light appear, but there's nothing inside the house as well. I have always been waiting for him even though I knew he might not return.
But now,
Please just give some light,
I exhale and surrender. I turn around and feel something. I quickly turn back. I see the light on the second floor turn on. My eyes are wide open. After a long year of darkness in this corner, I see the light for the first time.
He's back, and suddenly it turns off.
"Ha—" I gasp.
Instantly, someone from behind covers my mouth, "UM!!" I cringe and scream so hard as he drags me out of the way. It's a man for sure; the strength is powerful.
"HA——" I huff,
He throws me inside the car, and my head hits the car door, "Fuck!!" I scream.
Thud!!!
Then he quickly gets inside, "click." He locks the car door. I can't see him clearly because of the dark.
Suddenly, he approaches me.
"You fuck——" He uses some kind of cloth to cover my mouth. "Ummmmm—ummmmmm!!!" I scream while he's pressing his hand harder and harder, and his other arm locks my body as I roll my body left and right, trying so hard to be free, and then my eyelids are getting heavy, "Urkkkkk…um…" and they close.
"Ha—ha!" I gasp so hard after I open my eyes.
"You wake up?" He says.
"Ha…" I gasp and see the dark figure next to me, and I try to move my body, but my hands are tightened. I look up; this mother fucker tied my wrists with the seatbelt and tied them up with the assist grip above the car door. "What the—ha."
"You can't get away, princess." The similar voice starts to remind me of someone.
Princess?
"Vik?" I say his name, and he moves closer to the natural little light from outside. It's fucking Vik!
"I'm glad you remember my voice," Vik says.
"What the hell are you trying to do!?" I ask while I'm rolling, twisting to get away from him, and then he grabs both my legs to stop.
"I love it when you're struggling." He says with a vicious smile and glides both his hands to my ankles and pulls them down.
"Ahh!"
He spreads my legs out and slowly leans his body towards me, moving his position to sit near my part, between my legs.
"What are you doing?" I ask calmly this time.
"I'm patiently waiting for you to wake up so I can make you feel—-when you are entirely awake."
Feel what? You jerk!
"You know, every time I see you with him." He holds his tongue and puts his face beside mine, "When you kiss him." He moves his nose on my neck, "Stick your tongue in his mouth." He sniffs my skin as it slides to the middle of my chest. "I felt like— you just want to irritate me," he says as he slides down to my stomach near my belly button. "Or just fucking with me." He whispers as his lips touch my bare skin.
"You got me wrong." I say, and he faces up, "You're full of yourself, Vik." I glare at him. "I kiss him because I want to kiss him. I stick my tongue in him because I fucking want to."
"Hmpt, yeah?" He smirks, "Then, you give him your virginity, too?" I've never seen this kind of reaction from him before. He's fucking scary.
He shows me his tongue, presses on my stomach, and drags it up to my under boobs as he looks at me, "Your sweat—is all over your body, even I turn on the air-con for you, princess."
"Ha—ha!" I gasp so hard after I open my eyes.
"You wake up?" He says.
"Stop," I say, and he strokes my collarbones up to my front neck and flicks my chin up with his tongue.
"Your sweat tastes…fucking sweet." He says with a fucking smirk on his face.
"What the fuck do you want from me!?" I balt.
He grabs my cheeks harshly, and he leans his face to me. "Tell me, how was your first?"
What the fuck, he's crazy.
"Does your amazing boyfriend make you come, princess?" His grip is harder. I say nothing, only the disgusting glares toward him.
Then, he puts his lips on mine while grabbing my cheeks. "UM!!!" I scream out through my closed mouth. And I snatch my face away; he grabs my face back and kisses me again. This time, he forces his tongue inside my mouth.
He pulls out his lips, "Why don't you answer, huh?" He asks, "Don't fucking be shy—you love it. I can tell," He uses his other hand to touch my waist, glides to my side boob, "You are a little whore princess." He whispers inside his throat. I can feel his lower area touch against my part. While He keeps staring at my eyes and his smiles fucking curl up, His lower part is getting harder and harder. "You haven't had sex with him yet!?" His eyes sparkle, shining right at me. "Oh, fuck—Letizia, you make me hard again even though I already jerked myself off." He says. His entire body leans to me even closer; his hand touches my boob and squeezes it, "When you unconscious." He adds. "Haa—your tits are fucking bigggg. Now I know why he can't take his hands off you, heh."
"Get off me!! You crazy bastard!!" I yell at him directly as his nose touches mine. "You fucking have Felicia, you idiot!"
He ignores my questions as he plays with my boobs and my nipples.
"Why are you doing this? For fun?" I ask angrily.
Then, he uses his fingers to get inside my shorts, pulls it all the way down to my ankles, and throws it away.
I try to kick him, but he grabs my right leg first, and now he grabs both my legs and spreads them out again; he bends down his body and moves his face below my body, between my legs.
"You said yourself—you wanted me to go down on you." He says, and then he kisses my part through my panties, "Let's see—down here, will it be sweet like your sweat."
"You fuck! Vik!! Get off me!!" My yelling doesn't help at all; he grabs my thighs too hard to let them slip. He presses his tongue harder and deeper, pushing my panties almost inside the entrance. "VIK!" I yell his name.
"Heh," He makes a sound, and then he pulls the panties away and presses them against my soft spot. He licks my part like he tastes it, and he touches it again with his entire tongue, "Fuck—" he says more as he grunts out.
"Stop, please—VIK," I say as he kisses and pushes his tongue, intently, hardly, against the entrance and up to my sensitive spot at the top. "Ah…" I cry a little. "VIK! Stop!"
"You—you fucking moan it out." He says. "And keeps fucking calling my name, Letizia." He presses that spot again and again.
"Your crit—you love it, right? You are burning for me," He says softly and tastes my water that is about to get all over my part, or maybe it's just his fucking saliva. "Fuck—-princess. You taste so fucking good in every fucking part of yours." He keeps saying.
"VIK! Ha, I'll beat you to death if you don't get off me!!" I shout.
Crackkkk!!!
All of a sudden, the window cracked, spreading the glass around in tiny and big pieces.
"Arg!" I cry after someone pulls the car door away and lets my body hang, and someone cuts the seatbelt off, and my hands go free.
"Ha…"
I fall down from the car, sprint myself up, and quickly get away from the vehicle, but my legs are wiggling. Suddenly, the man walking past me.
"—ha."
And he wears the helmet.
"WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" Vik screams out and is about to get out of the car with his long-handled wooden stick—his proud polo mallet.
The mysterious man approaches him, grabs his neck, and pulls him out down to the floor, Vik's mallet falls down on the dirt ground.
"Who the fuck are you!?" Vik shouts.
Thud! Thud!
The helmet guy punches him on Vik's face twice. Thud! And he punches him again. The sound of Vik's face against the fist is so clear and loud.
And swing to hit the other side of his face again.
THUD.
"Ha–ha—ff—" He falls down to the ground. "Y—ou," He's struggling with the blood covering his mouth.
Then, I step my right foot on his dick.
"FUCK!!!" He screams, and I push on it harder. From this view, I can tell he can see my vagina down there, and I don't fucking care no more. "You're—cray—ha—zy!!" He tries so hard to scold me.
"Heh, You want to be my toy, right? Vik?" I say to his face while keeping pressing my bare foot on his dick. "You keep babbling how boys do to me, after me, how Tytas touches me. Why? Are you jealous? You fucking jealous because I choose Tytas, and you lose him again, right?" I ask and am about to raise the mallet.
His eyes look right at me.
"You want to beat him so bad, so you try to beat me," I say again, and I can feel his dick is hard.
No fucking way.
"You get aroused by this? You like me to step on you!?" I ask, and the helmet guy is coming closer. "Or do you like my foot touching your dick?" His part is about to bust out from his pants, and the helmet guy can see it, too. "Who is the freak now?" I say lightly.
"What are you doing?" he asks, about to get up. Letizia—" He says my name, and then I use the mallet to press at his neck and poke him away.
"I'm not your princess anymore?" I ask, and he says nothing. "Don't come to me in school or anywhere else. Don't get any fucking closer and fucking leave me alone." I say in a steady voice, not screaming, not even raising a tone. Then, I lift my right foot away from his part, and he grabs my ankle.
"Letizia," He says my name as if he's begging, and I flick my right leg away, raise the mallet, and hit his right hand.
"ARGHH!!!!!!" He screams so loud. "FUCK!!!!"
"And don't fucking touch me," I say, throw the mallet away and leave them.
"Now you know my dark side," I murmur.
Walking through the woods barefoot, I don't know where I am, and I'm half naked. That prick pushed my button, and I couldn't care less if his face was messed up or his hand was broken.
That prick Vik was trying to rape me.
And my sights are blurry with water. I wipe the water away, and then, I see the street before me. I climb, get up, and put down my feet on the concrete road. It's dark and cold. I look left and right, and I don't know which way to go. I decided to go to the right, which will lead anywhere. That jerk couldn't drive too far from the town.
My feet and legs are cold, and they are getting numb. My t-shirt is relatively thin, so I can feel the breeze covering my entire body. Then, I see the light shine through from behind and feel its warmth. It's him, but I don't want to turn around. I keep walking and ignore the sign. Eventually, the bike is beside me; I glance at the rider, who wears the helmet, and keep walking ahead. Suddenly, he rides and turns to block me, not in an aggressive way, but it stops me.
I look at him while crossing my arms because of the cold.
He removes his jacket and gives it to me. I shift my eyes to his coat and back to him; he's even wearing the black long-sleeve shirt inside. I'm hesitant to take it. Then, he gets off his motorcycle, and I quickly step back. He expands his jacket and puts it over me. I stand still, letting him do it for me in his arms. I put my arms into both sleeves; he zips up the jacket over to my neck and lets go of his hands. I can feel the jacket's weight; it's heavy as-f.
And then he's back on his bike and moves his head to the back of his ride. He wants me to be in the backseat. I say nothing and walk away.
"You don't know where you're going." He says behind his helmet. "Your butt will freeze before you get home." He says and rides after me. "You want a stranger to see you half naked." He says with the echo of the vibration behind the helmet.
Shit.
I turn to him and stare at him. He sees my worst and my humiliation. Nothing is going to get worse than this.
"You want me to carry you? or you do it yourself?" He says, "Either way, you're coming with me." He adds.
He saw me losing my shit and still helping me?
I sigh and walk to him. "Aren't you gonna give me your helmet?" I ask.
"Heh," he says lightly, making a deep sound. He offers me another helmet—I don't even know he's holding it—and puts it over my head. "Nice try," he says, secures it under my chin, and I help myself to the back of his bike.
"Hold me, " he says, but I don't do as he says. "You're going to fall off, " he repeats.
Fuck,
I move both my arms and hold his waist. "I'm not gonna do anything," he says lightly. Then, I decide to wrap my arms firmly around his body.
Finally, he takes off.
He rides in silence. All I hear is his motorcycle's engine and the wind that blows against him; his body is so big that it can be the barrier, protecting whatever comes to me. My mind is shut as my mouth. Am I still shocked? I ask myself, and the answer was no. I hate and am stunned by the situation that Vik did to me, but not because I broke his hands or his stupid face. Maybe I'm more violent than I think.
Not even half an hour, he stops his bike at my house. I slowly pull back my hands and get off his bike. I look at him through the helmet, which is a darker shade, but I still can see him. This must be the view he sees of me. He touches my chin gently, unites the helmet, and takes it off for me. I'm staying still as I look at him—I wish to see his eyes, the eyes behind the steel mask, not because I want to figure out how he looks—maybe a little, but I really crave to see how he looks at me, how he perceives me. How much they spark or mute when he gazes at me. My eyes are getting blurry again. I'm not a crybaby, but this is very fucked up. ; the things that happened to me and how I handled them were a bit—crazy.
And I am about to remove the jacket.
"Keep it." He says.
If I were a day ago, I would take it off and throw it in the woods, but at this moment, I don't want to. I take back my hands, open my mouth a little, close it, bite my lower lips, and look at him again. I have to say.
"Thank you," I say, then I turn around to my yard.
"Lock the door." He says,
What the hell is this feeling?
I turn my head and nod to him. I walk to the porch, press the passcode, and open the door. I look in his direction one more time; he's still there, watching me. Then, I close the door.
I go to my room, take off all the clothes, and quickly take myself to the shower. I clean and clean and clean, wash everything off head-to-toe nails. I don't fucking know what to do next if I go to school, or if I should tell Dad or even Irin. Should I tell Tytas? And I don't even know after I left. Did he do something to Vik? or just leave him there. My head starts to work again, and I use my towel to absorb the wet and clean my body, wearing a t-shirt nearest to me. I look at the sports clothes and the white T-shirt lying on the floor. I pick them up and throw them into the trash bin. I turn off the light, and before I'm about to get to bed, I shift my eyes to the jacket. I pick it up and wear it properly; it's heavy and leather but soft inside. I crawl myself inside the blanket and hold on to the jacket so tight.
It's warm.
I inhale the smell heavily inside my lungs.
I don't know what gets into me.
As I exhale the air out, my tears are also,
"Hic—" I can't hold it.
I wrap the jacket tighter around my body as if to hug me. It's not just the warmth I feel; I feel safe—at least in my bed and his jacket.