CHAPTER 4
AS THE SILENCE THAT COVERED US
In the King's Chovgan club, The Polo team comes to the arena for serious training. I come here for support, along with Irin and her official boyfriend, James. Felicia, with her two besties, is on her bench on the other side. Some parents are in the audience as well. I see Mrs. Oskar by herself with her assistant, whom I see from time to time. The coaches are in the field, with all the team players and the beautiful horses.
"People are into this game too much?" Irin questions, "Vik's dad here too." She says, and I look at the man with golden hair that is a bit faded—ashy, with a hound look. "He's looking good." She says,
"Vik's father?" I ask.
"What—No." She says and hurriedly looks at James, "No, babe." Then, she turns to me, "I mean your boy…by the way, how is it going? anything updated?" She leans her shoulder to me and bumps into mine, making her teasing face.
"Not much—" I say, but if the update between my creeper is accurate, then yes. Irin doesn't know about him. I haven't told anyone, even the police. I threatened him so many times, but I haven't reached or called the police station yet.
The staff has changed our empty glasses to new ones. I drink it while watching Tytas leading the team. I have always seen the looks of him: calm with a bit of intimidation and ambitious with those eyes. He looks hot but also can scare the girls away or run to him. He's the leader for sure, no doubt about that.
And then I see Tytas' eyes turn to me, and he gives a little smirk or a little curl on his smile and quickly turns his face to the game.
"What the hell is that?" Irin asks immediately.
I chuckle, "I think I will volunteer at the hospital." I say.
"AH—that's nice. I think it's the best choice for you, but they will open up for students like us."
"Gotta ask, you never know." I look at the horses' legs, which are challenging because they can run all day and have to carry big men on their backs.
"Yeah, go ahead. You might be the first student from Apollon Academy, he-hee." Irin squeezes my body like I'm a lemon.
"Stop, you're gonna kill her." Then, the man's voice speaks up from behind and pushes Irin's face away from me. It's Ivan, Irin's older brother. "Ziaaa—" He calls me, sits behind us, grabs my head, and shakes it.
"Ah—Ivan," I say.
"Mum asks for you. You haven't come for dinner for a couple of days now." Ivan says, pushing my face up to look at him.
"I will—ill," I reply while he keeps twirling my head.
"Hehehe," Irin chuckles. "And stop, she will puke." Irin hits Ivan's hand. "Why are you here anyway?" she asks.
I pat my hair to get rid of the mess and let them have a conversation because it seems a bit private even if they talk in public; next to me, I can't hear anything. I notice Tytas is watching me for a minute. Then, his friend calls him to go back to training.
"So that's your boyfriend?" Ivan asks and moves his face between Irin and me.
"Tytas—Oskar," he says.
"I—" I stutter. Irin and Ivan turn their heads to me after my weird reaction. "I don't know that we are—-officially," I say,
"What?" They say at the same time. "Is it obvious?" Irin shrinks her eyebrows.
"We are dating—I guess, but," I say.
"But what?" Irin asks,
"Did he do anything to you? He did something, didn't he!?" Ivan raises his voice, and I quickly cover his mouth with my hand.
"No," I pull my hand back, "But he never asks me to be his girlfriend, or we haven't talked about—" I pause and look at them as they're looking at me with confusion, and then, James tilts his head to look at me too. "Is it normal that we don't have to ask for—or any confirmation about it? And we're just together? Without saying anything? Is it really official, then?" I ask out of curiosity, and they say nothing. "Am I overthinking? I don't mind, though; I'm kind of okay with this."
"Hmm," Ivan shifts his eyes to his sister. "It depends. Normally, we don't need confirmation because we know what we are and are together, and anyone knows." Ivan explains,
"But—some couples want clarification about their relationship and want to be more—at ease; it's also normal."
"When you say you don't mind, how about him? Is he really don't ask you about it?" Irin asks and raises her eyebrow. "It's him, Tytas. He would do anything to have that affirmation. To be your official boyfriend."
"So? It's him, so what? Boys are boys. Especially, a boy like Oskar— he can open up to any girls if he's not—" Irin slaps his face lightly to shut him up.
"He's been obsessed with Zia for years. Think about it. If they are open and not official, Zia is also open, isn't she? And boys will after her tails as well. Do you think Tytas wants that?"
"Guys, it's okay because I don't actually know—myself," I say lightly.
Both of them turn their heads to me again, but I say nothing else and drink the drinks while looking at him in the field.
"But I do love the words of affirmation," I add.
Suddenly, Ivan hugs me from behind, "I do love you, my little Zia."
"What the fuck. Get off her, you idiot!" Irin quickly hits her brother violently. "But I do love you too." Irin turns to say to me.
"Oh god—" I sigh and smile with these two siblings.
"You do whatever you feel right, Zia," Ivan says, grabbing my head. You're still young, so don't worry too much about this. Follow your heart and have fun, " he smiles sweetly.
"Hehe," I chuckle lightly.
"But if he—-" He says,
"If he hurts me, I'll tell you," I respond.
"Good girl," He squeezes me like the way Irin does. "I'll get going."
"Just go, idiot," Irin says. Ivan pushes Irin's head, takes another hand back from me, and then leaves the arena.
We turn to watch the team. I hope our loud noise doesn't ruin their practice. Then, I notice Mrs. Oskar waving at me. She probably heard us chatting across the arena. I nod properly with a smile. Then, the few audience members from that side turn to look at me.
"Hey," Irin whispers, her facial expression a bit dull. I wait for her to speak rather than asking her what's on her mind. "He's back." She says
"Who's back?" I ask.
"Zygmunt." She says and shifts her eyes to me, "We thought that he was gone—dead." She continues.
I look at her blankly because I'm shocked, totally shocked.
"Not just my brother and me…and his parents as well." Irin pauses,
I call myself and look at the sky, "I didn't think that way." I say.
"Seriously?" She doesn't believe it. "Two years without a letter or news."
"Yes, seriously…I don't think he will die that easily." I say.
"Why?" She asks.
"...I just feel that way," I reply.
Zygmunt was a tough guy—always tough, strong, and buff. We never interacted that much, I could count, but I knew he was strong, not just physically.
"I didn't think you guys were closed—girl—Did you know something I didn't know?" She's curious.
Should I tell her about that night? That night changed me entirely, at least the part inside.
While my head is out of the space, the man before me says my name, "Zia." I blink to clear the past vision, "Letizia, Are you alright?" And I can see and hear the man's voice in front of me.
"Hi, I'm sorry," I say,
Tytas steps closer, lays both his hands on the bench, and corners me in his arms. "Are you sure?" he asks again.
"Yes," Then I give a quick look at Irin, who moves her butt far from me to be near her boyfriend, acting ignorantly. "You're done training?" I ask
"15 minutes left. I want to see you first." He says. "I don't mind if you leave first, Zia." he raises his left hand to touch my hair. "I don't want you to be bored," he explains. "Your hair—is a bit messy." He says, glances at me like he wants something from me. "I don't know that you're that close to Irin's brother." He says.
"Yeah, we're close—"
"Heh, I'm jealous." He says.
"Why? Aren't we…close too," I say softly as I look at him curiously.
He licks his lips and gives me a tiny smile, "Yes, but I meant—"
"You don't like him to be that close to me," I say lightly.
He looks into my eyes and nods.
"Not just him." He adds. He leans his face closer to me, his nose almost touching my cheek. "Am I allowed to do that? Am I your boyfriend, Zia?" he asks under his breath. "If I win, Can I be your boyfriend?" He looks up at me as his lips almost touch mine. "I want to call you my girlfriend—proudly."
I gasp,
"Please say yes." He says with his dazzling eyes, begging.
"Yes," I say.
Then, he kisses me deeply and holds my face to kiss me even deeper.
"Hem—cough." Irin makes a sound. "I don't want to interrupt, but everybody is watching right now."
Tytas slowly pulls his lips, turns his head back to see, and smiles a little. "I think I have to go," he turns to me, but I don't respond. He smiles and returns to the field, and I notice the background that quickly turns their faces to somewhere else. I see Mrs. Oskar give Tytas a thumb, and he shakes his head to his mother. Then I shift my eyes and accidentally see Vik glaring at me to death.
"Well-well, that's why people say be careful what you wish for," Irin whispers.
-two years ago-
"You—how about your mum?" I asked,
"She's on the trip," Zygmunt replied with a low breath.
"Trip, huh?" I said lightly as I supported him, climbed up the front porch, through the hall, into the living room, and eventually put him on the sofa. As he sat, the blood spurted out.
"Oh god—" I said shockingly in a steady tone, but my face was chilled down to my neck. Even the room was dark. I knew that my face was very pale at this moment.
"Stay here, I—" I was getting up and turning left and right when I noticed the kitchen. " Please stay still," I said and glanced at his wound.
I ran to the kitchen, found the big bowl, rinsed the water inside the bowl, and opened the cabinet to see something that helped. I found a pair of scissors, turned off the water, opened the fridge, and took the vodka bottle out. I also need something to numb the pain.
Fuck,
I quickly put the vodka bottle under my armpit, put the scissors in my mouth, and held the bowl of water. Then, I walked to him and put everything down on the floor.
"Painkiller?" I ask,
"Bathroom," he responded right away, "wait—" I immediately went to the bathroom. There was a cabinet beside the mirror, and I opened it.
Geez, there were so many.
I shifted my eyes carefully in every row. "Found it," I said, seeing the needle box. I glared at it and took it out. Before I left, I also pulled out the clean tower and the ice tray in the freezer.
I laid down everything, and I pushed him gently on his chest.
"What are you doing?" He asked shockingly.
"Lie down," I said.
"What?" He was a little stunned.
"Slowly—" I said, holding him down gently as he looked at me without a blink. I tried to drag and pull his t-shirt up, and it revealed the wound; I saw how bloody and exposing it was. I Looked up at him. And I kneeled down on the floor, taking the ice cubes out.
"Do you know what you do—" He asked lightly, and then I pushed a few ice cubes in his mouth before he finished the question.
"No, but you are too stubborn to go to the hospital." I said furiously, "suck in—" I said as I used the towel, dipping the water in the bowl, "I'm scared—" I said lightly as I pressed and wiped gently around the wound, "
"Zia—" He said my name and about to get up,
I pushed him back to the same position, "I'm scared that you will pass out." He looks at me, "So suck that ice." I was a bit angry but scared at the same time, "I'm all you've got—like it or not because I don't want you to bleed to death." Then, I gave him the painkillers.
"How many should I take?" He asked me with a little smirk.
"I—I don't know." I said, "Just take it, but not the whole bottle." I glared at him, and then I opened the vodka cap and was hesitant to rinse on his fresh wound.
Then, I felt the tickling under my feet, so I inhaled and rinsed it on the towel instead. I started to use the wet towel with an alcohol wipe on the wound.
"Umm—" He made the sound.
Shit.
I wiped all the blood around the wound, then opened the needle box and took out the needle. I found the suture—the suture that I was very confused about. I wondered why he had it inside the box instead of the threads.
"Are you—" he said and watched me,
I took out my phone and searched for the video for 'how to stitch up the wound.'
I laid down the phone between his legs; he was looking at me like I was crazy to do it.
"Zia, you don't have to do it." He said,
"Why? Are you scared?" I asked as I studied carefully on the video.
"Heh, no, but—-" He paused, and I could feel his gaze on me; he could see how terrified I was.
"You have no choice," I said while putting the suture inside the needle's tiny hole. "I'm going to do it anyway," I added.
I bit my lips and got into it.
The quiet sound and atmosphere calmed and scared me to death. I tried so hard to keep my hands steady as my face as the silence that covered us. I looked up at him from time to time to see he was still here, alive, breathing with me.
His eyes blinked slowly, probably feeling a bit numb from the ice and the pain. Then, he slowly raised his hand closer to my face. I looked at him, wondering. I commanded my system inside my body not to cry. He halted, and then I shifted my eyes to his wound that was about to finish. I used the scissors and cut the suture after I tied everything, as the video taught me.
He hadn't even fucking screamed or cried.
Then, I felt my hair was stroked, "You did a good job." He said.
I slowly turned my face to him, leaned my face on his hand, touched his palm, and gently rubbed my cheek inside his warm hand.
I was scared, too scared to face everything after this moment.