Date Unknown
I don't know why I thought this time would be different. The loop restarted, just like it always does. But this time, I decided to try something new.
If I couldn't save everyone directly, maybe I could do it indirectly. Maybe I could fight back. Maybe if I became as strong as the kid, I'd stand a chance of stopping them.
It wasn't easy. Killing goes against everything I've ever believed in, everything I've ever stood for. The first time I did it, it felt like my soul cracked. The monster I killed wasn't even hostile. They were just... there. But I told myself it was for the greater good, that I needed to do this to protect everyone else.
After the first kill, it got easier. It shouldn't have, but it did. I stopped hesitating, stopped overthinking. My attacks always said 1 damage, but when I landed a blow, it was something completely different.
I started gaining strength. Exp. Determination. And I started feeling... less. Less guilt, less pain. Less of everything.
Date Lost
The kid noticed.
I don't know how many loops it took, but they finally figured out what I was doing. At first, they seemed curious. They started testing me, watching how strong I'd become. They wanted to see if I could be a worthy opponent.
They weren't impressed. Not yet. But they were fascinated.
Then they started feeding me. Offering me monsters to kill, like a trainer working with a pet. They wanted me to grow stronger, to see how far I could go. It wasn't about protecting anyone anymore. It was about them—what they wanted, what they found entertaining.
And I let it happen.
The Day It Changed
I killed Papyrus.
For the first time, I crossed a line I never thought I'd cross. My own brother, the one person who always believed in me, who trusted me unconditionally... I ended him.
It broke something inside me. At first, it was unbearable. The guilt, the shame, the emptiness—it felt like it would crush me. But the loops kept coming, and every time I killed him again, I felt a little less. I stopped thinking of him as my brother. He became another number, another step on the path to becoming stronger.
I hate what I've become. But I don't know how to stop.
Date Irrelevant
I've learned how to control determination. The kid gave me enough time and opportunity to figure it out. Maybe they're just curious about what I'll do with it. Maybe they want me to fight back, to be stronger, to make their game more interesting.
But it doesn't matter what they want.
I've seen the worst parts of them now. I've seen how far they'll go to test me, to push me, to see what I'm capable of. And then... something happened.
For the first time, the kid didn't want to fight. They kept sparing me, over and over again. I didn't understand why at first. I thought they were mocking me, trying to see how I'd react. But then, I saw it.
Their soul split.
It divided right in front of me, splitting into two halves. And from that division came two of them: one wearing a blue shirt, the other wearing green. The blue one looked like the kid I'd always known—cold, emotionless, calculating. But the green one... they were different. Their aura was even darker, more twisted, like every ounce of malice had been concentrated into that one form.
And then they started fighting.
It was like watching two halves of the same coin trying to destroy each other. I stood there, frozen, trying to make sense of it all. Then it hit me. Their soul had been two in one all along. Two personalities, two entities, sharing the same body.
The green one was stronger, but with my help, the blue one managed to win. I don't even know why I helped. Maybe I thought I was siding with the "good" one. Maybe I just wanted the fight to end.
When the green one disappeared, it felt like watching a file being deleted. The blue one fell to their knees, silent and still. And then, just like that... the loop restarted.
Day 1 of the New Plan
I know what I have to do now.
If their soul can split like that, I can use it against them. I can force it to happen, control it, and end this once and for all.
I've started working on a plan. I found Gaster's old auxiliary lab behind my house. It's small and full of dust, but it has everything I need. His notes, his tools, his data—it's all still here. I'll use it to create something that can split their soul again, and this time, I'll destroy both halves before the loop can restart.
It won't be easy, but I don't care. I've already sacrificed everything else.
This has to end.