August 1
I don't know how I'm writing this.
I died. I'm sure I died. I felt the knife, the emptiness, the end. But then I woke up. It was like nothing had ever happened. The Judgment Hall was quiet, the dust gone, and everything looked... normal.
For a moment, I thought I imagined it all. Maybe it was just a bad dream. But then, the kid showed up again. Same gate. Same empty eyes. Same toy knife clutched in their hand.
And it all happened again. Every step they took, every fight they sought—it was all the same. The same path. The same outcome.
I tried to tell myself it was coincidence, but no. I'm sure of it now. This isn't the first time. It's already happened before, and now it's happening again.
How is this possible?
September 12
It keeps happening.
I've lost track of how many times I've watched them walk the same path, take the same lives. It's not just déjà vu anymore—it's a loop, a never-ending cycle. No matter what I do, it all plays out exactly the same.
Papyrus… I've watched him die over and over again. I've tried everything to stop it, but nothing works. It's like I'm trapped in some kind of nightmare I can't wake up from.
How is this happening? Why is this happening?
I don't know. But I'm starting to wonder if it'll ever stop.
December 30
I made a mistake.
Once, during one of the loops, I tried to make light of it all. I told the kid they should keep a score, like it was some kind of game. A joke, I thought. Something to distract them, even if just for a moment.
I shouldn't have said it.
Something changed after that. They didn't laugh, but I could see it in their eyes. Curiosity. Interest. A spark I hadn't seen before. And then they started trying. Trying to make it worse. Trying to push things further, to test the limits.
I triggered something in them, and now I can't undo it.
They've turned this into their personal playground. A game where I'm their favorite target. They kill everyone, sure, but with me… it's different. They want more. They want to see every reaction, every move, every scrap of fight I have left in me. They want to know everything about me, and they're learning by tearing me apart.
I don't even feel anything anymore. I stopped crying after the first dozen loops. I stopped getting angry after the hundredth. Now, it's just... nothing.
Date Unknown
I don't know how long it's been. A thousand loops? Ten thousand? A hundred thousand? I've lost count. I stopped counting ages ago.
I've seen everyone die more times than I can remember. Papyrus, Grillby, even Asgore. Over and over again. The worst part is, I know exactly what's going to happen each time, but I can't stop it. No matter what I do, the kid keeps going.
That promise I made… I don't even remember why I made it. It's been burned out of my memory. But even though I've forgotten the reason, I can still feel it in my soul. It's like it's etched into me, something I can't break, no matter how much I want to.
I can't protect anyone. Not from them.
Date Meaningless
They've won.
They've taken everything from me, and I'm still here. Watching. Waiting. I don't even know what for anymore.
Every time they look at me, I can see the amusement in their eyes. I'm not just part of their game—I'm their favorite part. The one they come back to, over and over, to see how I'll react. But I don't have any reactions left to give.
I wish it would end. I wish I could end. But I can't.
They won't let me.