What?" I said aloud at the sound of a robotic voice.
Covering myself instinctively, I scanned the tiny bathroom. No one there. Couldn't be.
Shaking my head, I returned to my bath. Paranoia was setting in already, huh?
[Doomsday Operation Started]
[Please state your name for registration]
Again, the same voice. This time I saw it—words forming in my brain, the same as what I heard aloud.
I didn't think those words, so why was I seeing them?
Was I infected? Shit, I don't want to be a zombie yet—I'm just getting started.
[Please state your name for registration]
Even with my eyes open, I kept seeing the letters, hearing the robotic voice.
"What the fuck…" That looked familiar. I'd seen this before. "Joe." I said, just to check if it was what I thought it was.
[Welcome Joe, to the Doomsday System]
[You have been chosen to save the world]
And that's how I lost my hard-on.
"I don't want to save the world, Miss." I grabbed the soap and restarted my shower. "Send it to someone else. Appreciate it though."
After finally getting rid of responsibilities, the last thing I wanted was to save the world. Carry the hopes of the human race? Nah. I'm good just chilling in the apocalypse.
[Rejecting the system may result in exclusion of the user]
[Would you like to proceed with exclusion?]
"Exclusion?" I was rinsing my hair when I saw a YES/NO pop-up in my mind. "Does that mean you'll leave me alone?"
[Exclusion will delete the user]
With shampoo still bubbling, I froze.
"Wait—what? Delete how?"
[The user will be terminated by the system]
Frustrated, I tilted my head back and let the water fall over me—until the burning in my eyes reminded me I hadn't rinsed properly.
"Fuckfuckfuck!" Of all the things that could happen, it had to be this. A system to save the world? Why not one to give me unlimited apocalypse supplies?
[Would you like to proceed with exclusion?]
The warning popped up in my head, over and over. Even with my eyes shut, it wouldn't go away. Goddamn it.
"No! I don't want to exclude." I sighed, still washing the shampoo from my eyes.
[Proceeding…]
"I can't even have one shower in peace even after the world emhas ended…" Obviously pissed, I turned off the water and wrapped a towel around my waist.
[Please choose your class: Warrior, Mage, Marksman or Creature]
More missiles fell over downtown as I walked out of the bathroom. Never thought living an hour from the office would be such a blessing.
TV was down, internet was flickering, but it didn't matter. I grabbed the noodles and stepped onto the balcony to watch the sky.
After a few bites, I was ready to deal with the annoying pop-up.
"Explain the class attributes." Every game had classes—I had to know what they did. Who wants to end up as a lame support in the apocalypse?
[Warrior: 80 Strength; 50 Agility; 40 Intelligence; 80 Stamina. Can equip manual weapon skills from any era.]
"That's actually really good. Strong and dumb." I slurped another bite and sipped the soup. I'd probably be eating a lot of those. Not that I wasn't already.
[Mage: 30 Strength; 40 Agility; 80 Intelligence; 50 Stamina. Can learn any spells.]
"I never liked playing mages. Kind of boring—but could be useful. Healing spells and stuff."
[Marksman: 30 Strength; 90 Agility; 90 Intelligence; 60 Stamina. Can equip any firearm ever invented.]
I paused. The pistol icon and stats clicked.
"This is interesting—and useful." I tossed the noodle cup off the balcony, and an explosion echoed right after. "Low strength, but high agility and intelligence. I'll go Marksman."
That actually got me excited. I'd forgotten what it felt like to start a new game. Working 8-hour days, 6 days a week left no time for games. Which sucked—now I had money to spend on them but no time to play.
[Do you want to confirm class selection: Marksman?]
"Wait!"
Better check them all first. No rush. What if the last one is OP?
"Explain the last one."
[Creature: 95 Strength; 20 Agility; 50 Intelligence; 70 Stamina. Can transform into any beast the user imagines.]
Staring at the bear icon, I pondered. Transforming was cool. I could be a dragon. Fly. Huge advantage. But it might draw attention—less practical even if it's cool as fuck.
Stats were solid. Balanced. Better than most games.
Scratching my beard, I knew I had to go with my gut. No class with the same weaknesses I already had.
"I'll go with Marksman."
[Confirm class selection: Marksman?]
"Confirm."
What was I doing? The world was ending and here I was, setting up my profile like it was a new game. Unless… it wasn't.
"System, who sent you?"
The night breeze hit under my towel. Time to get dressed. Getting sick now would be dumb.
[I was sent by the Designer]
"Great. A mystery."
Digging through the clean laundry I hadn't folded, I found sweats, underwear, and a white shirt. Looking at the mess, I made a mental note to clean—then remembered I don't have to anymore.
"Hehehe." I laughed, grabbing another beer.
On the couch, facing the balcony, it was time to get serious.
"System, what's the mission?"
[Society has fallen. User must find a way to restore it and bring peace to the world.]
Of course. Why can't people just let the planet run its course? Earth doesn't want us anymore. We should respect that.
"What happens if I don't play?"
[User will be eliminated]
"Right…"
The apocalypse was starting to feel like just another day.
"Why was I chosen?"
Let's get all these questions out of the way.
[Not found]
Glitch? I thought it was always some god or entity granting powers. Lowkey, I was bummed it wasn't a divine calling. But what did I expect?
Better get to know this system. I don't have to rush to level up. I can explore first, get strong, then maybe save the world.
Do I even want to save it? It'll probably just go back to how it was—and I don't want that.
"Show me the rest."
[Inventory: 1 Pistol, 2 Magazines]
[Skills: Headshot]
[Level: 1]
Looking at the menu hovering in front of my eyes, I couldn't believe it.
This has got to be the poorest starter pack ever.