Chapter 1 — Wake Up, Meet a God, Get a Stupid Mission
Darkness. Silence. Cold.
Sion opened his eyes with the classic just-woke-up expression—mouth open, drool about to drip, and eyes puffy like he just finished binge-watching a never-ending soap opera.
"Ow… why the hell is this bed so hard?"
After two seconds of fumbling around, he realized: this wasn't a bed. It was a marble floor. A shiny, luxurious tile way too fancy for a normal apartment. Like a five-star hotel lobby, but with creepy hell vibes.
"Uh… where am I? Why does this place feel like a graduation hall with demon energy?"
The room was massive, with tall pillars like power poles without wires lined up in symmetry. A mysterious white light beamed down from above, with no visible source. At the far end, a giant throne stood. Sitting on it was a glowing figure—silver-haired, robed in white, radiating an aura of "I'm holier than thou."
"Welcome, chosen human," the being said, voice echoing like a government PSA.
"I am the Great God of this world. You have been summoned to save—"
"YO! You think I'm unemployed or something?!"
Sion stood up, face blank but eyes blazing with fury. Not fear—
Just the anger of a man who hadn't had breakfast.
"I just went to bed after bingeing ten drama episodes. And now you wake me up in this ridiculous place? Where's my fried rice?!"
The Great God was silent. Maybe this was his first time seeing a human angrier than a demon.
"You're… not shocked about being summoned to another world?"
Sion snorted.
"Bro, everyone gets isekai'd these days. In Konoha, kids get hit by trucks weekly, wake up in elf worlds, and instantly collect a harem. This ain't rare anymore, Mr. God."
The God sighed deeply. With a snap of his fingers, a transparent screen appeared before Sion.
[Sion – Level 1]
Class: Complaining Hero
Starting Skills:
Sarcastic Commentary (Passive) – Every sarcastic remark reduces enemy morale.
Escape Artist Instinct – Can sense danger and flee before it even happens.
Maximum Excuses – Can dodge responsibility with disturbingly believable excuses.
Inventory:
Flip-Flops (Rare. Can be used in both arguments and combat)
Hero Mission Card (Indestructible. Seriously, they tried burning it.)
"Rare flip-flops? Is this a fantasy world or a village committee meeting?"
"That… is a system bug. This world's kinda broken. The admin's busy with election campaigns. But your mission is clear: defeat the Demon King and save the world."
"And the reward?"
"Peace."
Sion's eyes widened. "I live in a country with monthly protests, daily arguments, and hourly traffic jams. Peace only exists in national anthems."
"You have no choice."
"Konoha dodged an economic crisis. You think I can't dodge a stupid quest?"
But before he could run, the God snapped his fingers and—
FWOOSH!
Location: The Overused Beginner Forest
Sion landed like a plastic bag in the wind. "Dear God… was that teleportation or did you launch me with a tax-powered slingshot?"
The forest around him was so standard it hurt. The grass was unnaturally green, birds sang like a soap opera soundtrack, and a wooden sign read:
Welcome to Beginner's Forest – Managed by the Department of Forestry and Local Monsters
"Am I in a fantasy game or a national park?"
Suddenly, a girl screamed from behind a bush.
"MONSTER! HELP!!"
A young mage girl burst out, running from a pink slime. But this wasn't a normal slime—it was clown cosplay slime with the expression of a cat trying to force a hug.
Sion muttered, "That slime looks like a debt collector. Relentless until someone cries."
The girl tripped. The slime got closer. She tried casting a spell, but mispronounced it into "spicy fried chicken level three."
Sion stood up. Eyed the slime. Took off his flip-flop.
"I swear on the people of Konoha… taste the power of the people's footwear!"
SMACK!
The slime exploded into confetti.
The girl froze. "You… who are you?"
"Sion. Hero. But don't tell anyone. Or they'll drag me into a ceremony."
Lyra Flameveil
The girl's name was Lyra. A mage, she said. Graduated from an elite magic academy. Unemployed.
"I can't believe you defeated that slime… with a flip-flop."
"People's flip-flop, miss. Bought from the local store. Can topple empires."
Lyra blinked. "Are you really a hero?"
"I've been blessed by a God. But I'm more interested in potion discounts than demon hunting."
Suddenly, the sky darkened. A monster appeared—a giant chicken with a sword.
"That's… the Paladin Chicken?! A level 10 boss!"
Sion stared. "This world was clearly made by a dev with KFC trauma."
The Paladin Chicken flapped its wings. Sion activated Sarcastic Commentary.
"HEY, ARMORED CHICKEN! YOU WANNA GET FRIED EXTRA CRISPY?!"
The chicken's morale plummeted.
[Paladin Chicken – Level 10]
Morale: Rock bottom. Ego shattered. Traumatized by the word 'fried.'
With Lyra's finally-correct spell, the Paladin Chicken was defeated—exploding into shredded chicken and bonus XP.
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After the fight, Lyra offered to take Sion to the Guild for registration.
"But be careful. The Guild here's a hassle. Five forms to fill, fingerprints, and some administrative fees... totally not a bribe."
"Sounds exactly like the bureaucracy back home. Like getting a double KTP."
"And sometimes if the officer's having coffee, they'll tell you to come back tomorrow."
Sion looked up at the sky. "I've reincarnated to a new world… and still can't escape long lines and glitchy systems."
To be continued…
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