20+ early chapters on Pátreon.com/Herd99
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Kain exhaled slowly, rolling his shoulders as he stood in the center of the training hall.
Around him, the assembled Marines shifted with anticipation, their whispers barely contained. Some of them looked excited, eager to see a proper fight. Others looked sympathetic—as if they already knew how this was going to end.
Smoker cracked his knuckles, adjusting his grip on his Jitte.
"Come on, Kain," he said, exhaling a thick puff of smoke. "Try not to embarrass yourself."
Kain rubbed the back of his neck. "What if I just surrender now? Saves us both the trouble."
Smoker raised an eyebrow. "You haven't changed."
"Of course I haven't," Kain muttered under his breath. "Changing takes effort."
Before he could come up with another excuse, something in his head clicked.
A voice—not his own—spoke directly into his mind.
[Shonen System Rebooted!]
Kain stiffened. 'Oh, no. Not this.'
It had been a long time since the Shonen System had spoken to him. 4 years, 3 months, 3 days and 5 hours to be exact.
He had hoped—prayed—that whatever mysterious force had cursed him with it had moved on. But no. It was still here, waiting for the worst possible moment to kick in.
[Challenge Issued: Eternal Rival Detected!]
Kain's eye twitched. 'Eternal Rival? Smoker's not my rival. He's just… annoying.'
[Objective: Defeat Smoker in a sparring match!]
Kain dragged a hand down his face. 'Defeat him? Do you not see him? The man is literally made of smoke.'
[Failure Penalty: Insomnia for one week.]
Kain froze.
'…Insomnia?'
[Correct.]
'That's cruel and unusual punishment.'
[It is an appropriate penalty for lack of effort.]
Kain squeezed his eyes shut. Why did he have to be reborn in an Anime world? He would have preferred the afterlife or true soul extinction over no sleep for an entire week.
He could handle paperwork, physical training, even public humiliation. But losing sleep? That was a nightmare.
"Alright, fine," he muttered under his breath. "I get it. I'll try."
[Reward: Increased Reputation and a Free Nap Pass.]
Kain paused. "…A what?"
[A Free Nap Pass. One use.]
"That's not—You can't just—" He groaned. "Whatever. Let's get this over with."
Smoker narrowed his eyes. "What are you mumbling about?"
Kain straightened and took a reluctant stance. "Nothing. Let's just start."
Captain Shaw raised a hand. "Begin!"
Smoker wasted no time. His arms dissolved into thick plumes of smoke, stretching forward like living tendrils. Kain barely had time to sidestep before one curled around his wrist.
"Oh, come on."
With a sharp pull, the smoke yanked him forward, straight toward Smoker's waiting fist. Kain barely twisted his body in time, avoiding a direct hit but still feeling the gust of wind as the punch shot past his ear.
Smoker didn't slow down. His other hand swung up, his jitte slicing through the air toward Kain's shoulder.
[System Prompt: Use your signature move!]
Kain's eyes darted to the notification. "What are you talking about? I don't have a signature move!"
[Signature Move Unlocked: Lazy Dragon's Roar.]
"…What?"
Before he could protest, his body moved on its own. A strange, familiar energy built in his chest. His mouth opened, and suddenly—
A burst of force exploded outward, sending a shockwave rippling through the air.
The impact slammed into Smoker, pushing him back several feet. His smoke reformed quickly, but the force had been enough to stop his attack.
Kain exhaled sharply, already regretting everything.
The training hall was dead silent.
Kain stood frozen, his breath still catching up with him. The force that had just shot out of his mouth—his so-called "Lazy Dragon's Roar"—still crackled faintly in the air.
The gathered Marines exchanged stunned glances, murmuring amongst themselves.
Smoker, ever the unshakable wall of a man, took a step forward. He rolled his shoulder, exhaling a thick cloud of smoke as if that last attack had merely been a slight inconvenience rather than a surprise knockback. His smirk had widened.
Kain hated that smirk.
"That was new," Smoker said, gripping his Jitte tightly. "I didn't know you had it in you."
Kain scowled. "Neither did I."
[System Notification: New Skill Registered – Lazy Dragon's Roar!]
He groaned. "Oh, great. Now it's permanent."
Smoker didn't give him time to complain further. His body dissolved into smoke again, the thick gray mist swirling toward Kain at alarming speed.
Kain's instincts screamed at him to move.
He ducked. Just in time. The smoke twisted above him, reforming into Smoker's arm, his Jitte swinging downward with enough force to split the floorboards.
The impact cracked the wood, sending splinters flying.
Kain took three hurried steps back, hands raised. "Wait, wait—can't we just talk this out?"
Smoker smirked. "You're in a sparring match, Kain. Try fighting back."
"That sounds exhausting."
Smoker didn't wait for another excuse. His fist came straight for Kain's gut.
[System Prompt: Dodge Instinct Activated!]
Kain's body twisted at the last second, barely slipping past the punch.
His reflexes had always been decent—he'd spent years perfecting the art of avoiding work, after all. But this felt different.
The System was guiding his movements, making him faster, sharper, more precise.
For the first time, Kain realized something.
He wasn't just dodging by luck.
He was actually keeping up. And he HATED IT. 'Stop doing that. I'm not your puppet you dumb soul cancer.' He growled to the system in his mind.
Smoker noticed too. His expression shifted, just slightly. Maybe surprise, maybe intrigue.
Kain didn't have time to think about it. Smoker moved again, his body half-shifting into smoke to reposition himself. His jitte swung out, aiming for Kain's ribs.
[System Prompt: Counter Opportunity!]
"Didn't I just say- wait, What counter-?!"
Kain's body moved on its own again. His foot braced against the cracked floorboards, twisting just enough to avoid the strike.
His fist lashed out—a lazy, half-hearted punch—but somehow, it connected**.**
His knuckles met Smoker's side.
It didn't hurt him—obviously. The guy was built like a battleship. But it did make him take a step back.
A murmur rippled through the watching Marines.
Kain stumbled, looking down at his own hand. "...What."
Smoker grinned. "Looks like you've got more in you than I thought."
"No, no, no," Kain muttered, stepping back. "That was—That was the stupid System. I don't actually—"
Smoker's next attack cut him off.
The Jitte came down hard, this time backed by a concentrated burst of smoke. Kain had no time to dodge. He raised his arms to block—
The force sent him skidding across the floor.
His boots scraped against the wood, barely keeping him upright. The impact rattled his bones, and he knew without looking that his arms would be sore for days.
Shaw raised his hand. "That's enough."
Smoker exhaled, letting the fight drop. "Tch. You're lucky."
Kain sighed in relief, immediately slumping forward. His arms hung limply at his sides. Everything hurt.
The gathered Marines burst into whispers.
"That was actually a good fight."
"Did you see that? Kain actually landed a hit on Captain Smoker!"
"Maybe he's not as lazy as we thought."
Kain groaned. This was exactly what he didn't want.
Shaw clapped his hands together. "Well done, both of you. Kain, I didn't know you had it in you."
"Neither did I," Kain muttered, rubbing his sore arms.
Smoker approached, looking down at him. "You've improved."
Kain gave him a flat look. "Can we define 'improved'? Because I feel like I just got run over by a sea train."
Smoker chuckled, slapping a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe there's hope for you yet."
"Hope for what?" Kain deadpanned. "A nap? Because that's all I want."
The officers slowly dispersed, still talking amongst themselves.
As Kain dragged himself back to his office, Tashigi was already waiting. She held out a fresh cup of coffee.
"That was impressive, sir," she said, pushing her glasses up.
Kain took the coffee with both hands, eyes half-lidded in exhaustion. "Impressive? That was a nightmare." He collapsed into his chair, groaning. "Remind me to never leave this office again."
[System Notification: Challenge Complete! Reward: Free Nap Pass (1 use).]
Kain stared at the glowing text in his vision. "Never control my body ever again. We understand each other?"
There was a brief pause.
[Noted]
Slowly, he set the coffee aside.
Then, with zero hesitation, he planted his face against his desk.
Within seconds, he was asleep.