If I had a choice, I wouldn't have wanted to be born, not into a world filled with sorrow and pain. Is this the moment where I ask if it should all come to an end?
Life isn't meant to be beautiful all the time, because from the very start, nothing was ever guaranteed, nothing was ever promised. Maybe I was just foolish, swept away too easily by sweet illusions dressed as truth.
Yet life was never meant to be fair. The trials and troubles never seem to stop. With each passing day, the weight of expectations grows heavier. There are moments when I feel worthless, belittled, ignored, insulted, stripped of dignity. Am I the only one who feels this way?
No, I truly want to know. I'm not asking out of passing doubt. I'm searching for an answer.
After all the struggles I've endured, alI I ever wished for was a glimmer of light. But even that felt too much to ask. Once again, I was told I'm wrong for even daring to complain. Is this some kind of cruel joke? Why does it feel like the world has turned against me, like I've become the target of its scorn?
Now, here I am, alone in the dark. No smile left to wear, watching myself slowly unravel and no one seems to notice.
In a tightly sealed room, not a sliver of sunlight nor a thread of light could slip through, the darkness was complete.
There, a girl sat quietly,~ her long caramel hair falling around the fragile shoulders. Blood streamed from her small, delicate arm. Though no tears marked her cheeks, it was clear she had been crying~ her faint sobs lingered in the silence, echoing off the cold, empty walls.
"No one... hic... no one has ever loved me..." she murmured.
"I hate… everything…"
But the pain from the wound wasn't what made her weep, It was deeper than that. Her body trembled faintly, trying to steady breaths that grew heavier with every passing second.
For a moment, those beautiful eyes drifted to a framed photograph nearby, gaze cracking with hurt before strength gave way, and she slumped where she sat, fading into the silence as the blood kept falling.
********
BANG! The door slammed open, the sound exploding through the room like thunder.
"Are you satisfied now?! Is it enough for you?" the tall young man shouted, his voice roared, piercing the silence while while the girl with flowing hair lay weakly on the bed, staring back at him expressionless.
"You're nothing but trouble! Always dragging me down!" he yelled again.
"I didn't ask for your help. Why did you even bother?" her reply came as barely more than a whisper.
"You should be grateful I did! You'd be dead by now if I hadn't stepped in, you damn burden!"
"Then let me die! I never wanted to live like this, with any of you! Wouldn't it be easier if I were gone, living as you please without me?!"
"You ungrateful little brat!" he spat, storming out and slamming the door behind.
With a slow, painful effort, she managed to sit up, the ache in her head almost unbearable. Leaning against the wall, unsteady on trembling limb, she reached for the bag on a small table beside the bed, pulling out a handful of pills and swallowing them all at once.
A soft breath escaped her lips, a tear slipping down her cheek, quickly wiped away.
"I hate all of you…" came the barely audible whisper.
Falling back onto the bed, eyes closing, she wished ~ no, begged ~ that this was just a nightmare. But when they opened again, tears returned, unbidden.
I want to run far, far away from everything that exhausts me. To escape everything that's drained me. But can I? It feels like fate is always playing cruel games with me…
I don't care anymore. I just want this to be over. Can it?
********
"Oh my God, why didn't you tell me, Jolly?!" A girl with a ponytail said, her voice filled with frustration as she glared at her dearest friend.
"I've already told you, I'm fine." Jolly replied calmly.
"Fine? You still look drained. How can you say that?"
"I took my medicine and got enough rest yesterday, Kiara. You're overreacting."
"Still, how can I not worry? Especially when you're still living with that wretched brother of yours who's completely useless!" Kiara's voice trembled with concern.
"He can't hurt me. I'll stand my ground. You know I'm strong, don't you? Look at me. I'm here at campus, meeting you," Jolly said, a spark of defiance in her eyes.
Kiara fell silent, her gaze clouded with doubt.
"JOLLY!" A thunderous cry erupted from a girl with shoulder-length golden locks, startling the young man beside her. He winced, covering his ears before nudging her sharply.
"Quiet, Luisa! You're drawing every eye," Trent scolded her lazily.
"You don't understand how worried I've been about my precious little sister?!" Luisa huffed, undeterred.
"Your shouting will bother others," Trent muttered, his expression weary.
"I'm sorry, Jolly, and you too, Kiara. I was just so anxious. How are you holding up? I heard you were hurt again?" Luisa's tone softened, her eyes searching.
"I'm alright, Luisa," Jolly answered, her words brief but warm.
"Thank goodness! I just needed to know you're okay. I brought your favorite cookies and pudding~ eat them and may you heal swiftly. I can't stay longer, there's a club meeting this morning," Luisa rambled, her affection spilling over. "Trent, don't you have something to say to Jolly?"
A pause, then a sigh. "Get well soon," Trent offered with clipped voice.
"Thank you," Jolly replied simply. "And thank you, Luisa, for the cookies and pudding."
"Tch, enough! You two should go," Kiara interjected, cutting through the exchange with sharp edge.
"Such rudeness to your senior! Oh well, I'll be off, see you again Jolly." Luisa chirped brightly, then flounced away from the canteen, tugging her boyfriend Trent along.
"That noisy woman is insufferable!" Kiara fumed, her irritation flaring. "I've told you before to put her in her place."
"Let it go. It's fine," Jolly murmured.
"You always say it's fine, always yielding, but seeing you like this drives me up the wall," Kiara pressed, her voice sharp with exasperation.
Jolly said nothing, her silence a familiar shield.
"For once, be selfish for your own happiness," Kiara urged, softer now.
"I'm happy enough," Jolly replied, quiet but resolute.
"I'm not so sure about that," Kiara countered, unconvinced.
Jolly shook her head gently, all too aware of her friend's fierce protectiveness. "Come on, let's talk about something else. I don't want to dwell on this, it's still early."
Kiara let out a heavy sigh. "But promise me you'll always find joy and keep smiling," she said earnestly. Her gaze flicked to Jolly's bandaged arm. "And no more hurting yourself."
Jolly paused, then a faint smile curved her lips. She nodded to her friend, a quiet vow.
"Finish your food quick, class is about to start," Jolly prompted.
"Oh, right! Our first class is at ten-thirty," Kiara exclaimed, smacking her forehead before diving into the remnants of her meal.
When you stumble upon a soul who mirrors your own, an unspoken pull keeps you near. It's a comfort, like gazing into a reflection of yourself. They understand you ~ the depths of your experiences, the heights of your joy, the shadows of your sorrow, the weight of your struggles and they know how to lift your spirits.
Together, you weather life's tempests, and most importantly, they see you, truly, and won't leave you to face the crashing waves alone. Perhaps fate doesn't entirely despise me. I hope I'm right.
********
"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?" Kiara voice's laced with concern.
Jolly shook her head softly. "It's alright. Besides, your mom asked you to run errands. It'd be a hassle to go back and forth, you might not get home until nightfall."
"I don't mind," Kiara insisted.
"But I do. You're a girl too, and it's not safe to be out alone after dark. It's dangerous, Kiara," Jolly said with firm yet caring.
"And you think it's not dangerous for you?" Kiara shot back, eyebrows raised.
"Not at all. I'll take the bus now and be home before the sun fully sets. Don't worry," Jolly reassured her.
Kiara sighed heavily. "How can I not worry when you're heading home alone with your arm bandaged like that?"
"You've known me forever, and you still don't trust me?" Jolly's question carried a quiet ache, more lament than accusation.
"Truly, you're stubborn as ever,"
Jolly's lips curved into a faint grin. "And you're still worrying too much. I'll be fine, I promise."
"Promises won't keep you safe," Kiara retorted, her gaze lingering on the bandage hugging Jolly's arm. "That injury wasn't meant to be ignored."
"Enough," Jolly said gently like soft command. "The bus awaits, and I'd rather not chase it in the twilight."
Kiara's shoulders slumped, defeated by her friend's resolve. "Alright, but my phone better ring the moment your feet cross your doorstep."
"Consider it done," Jolly replied, her eyes twinkling with quiet assurance. A playful nudge was given to Kiara's arm. "Now go, before your mom starts wondering where her groceries are."
Kiara huffed, irritation flickering across her face. "Your brother's negligence infuriates me. Mark should've been here, not off with some club nonsense."
"Let it rest," Jolly urged, her tone steady. "I'm not made of glass, Kiara."
"Glass or not, you're too reckless," Kiara shot back, her words sharp but softened by care.
Dusk began to weave its shadows across the campus, the light fading into a gentle amber. "Time's slipping," Jolly noted, glancing at the horizon. "We'll both be caught in the dark if we linger."
"Go, then," Kiara said, her voice a reluctant surrender. "But tread carefully, Jolly."
A nod was offered in return, and Jolly's hand rose in a fleeting wave. "You too," she called, her figure retreating toward the bus stop, where the evening's hush awaited her.
In the quiet moments of parting, a truth lingered unspoken: to find a friend who sees your soul's every shade ~ its radiance, its fractures ~ is a rare gift. With Kiara, Jolly knew she was never truly alone, no matter the storms that loomed. Perhaps the stars above weren't aligned against her after all.
********
"Yes, I understand, yes, I'm listening," a young man with jet-black hair muttered, exasperation seeping into his tone. A heavy sigh escaped , his ears practically scorched by the relentless chatter pouring through the phone. When the call finally ended, a new message pinged onto his screen.
From: Rainier
Mai told me to send this, so don't mess it up, or we'll both get an earful. Be on time for check-up tomorrow, 8 a.m. I'm really sorry, Aiden.
Another sigh was drawn from boy named Aiden. His fingers tapped out a curt Understood before slipped the phone into his pocket.
Leaning back into the driver's seat, Aiden let his frustration simmer. The endless traffic jam was bad enough, and now that call had frayed his patience further. The radio's soft hum did little to ease the boredom gnawing at him. With another sigh, he gazed through the windshield, the late afternoon streets bathed in a golden haze.
Suddenly, his attention snagged on a figure stepping out of a café near the traffic light intersection. His eyes locked onto her, unable to pull away.
"Her arm's bandaged."
HONK! The sharp blare of a horn from behind jolted him. Snapping out of his reverie, he noticed the car ahead had crept forward. Hastily, he nudged his own vehicle along. Aiden shook his head, chiding himself to stay focused. Something felt off, why had a fleeting glimpse of a stranger gripped him so?
He stole another glance, scanning for her, but the figure eluded . Then, his eyes caught the unmistakable sight of a bandaged arm disappearing into a bus. The bandage made her stand out, but she was already aboard. With no choice, Aiden abandoned his distant observation of the stranger and fixed his gaze forward, willing the traffic to unravel.
In that fleeting moment, a spark of curiosity had been kindled, unbidden and unexplained. Perhaps the monotony of the day had parted just enough to let something or someone intrude upon his thoughts. Whether by chance or design, the image of her lingered, a quiet ripple in the stillness of his evening.
********
"What are you saying, Mark?!" Jolly struggled to believe what she had just heard.
"Why does it matter? Don't get on my nerves!" snapped the young man—her own brother by blood.
"Why didn't dad ask me first? Why didn't you even try to stop this?"
"This isn't a matter of yes or no. It's an order! Haven't you figured out what kind of man our dad is?!"
"But..."
"Enough! Don't push me. Do you think anyone wants to argue with that old man? And don't make me repeat myself." Mark stood up abruptly and walked away without looking back.
The moment he disappeared, tears spilled from Jolly's eyes. Her fingers tightened around the paper bag she was holding, until it tore slightly.
She had just returned from school, hoping to relax and enjoy her favorite drink she bought earlier, but once again, life forced her to swallow another bitter truth. Tears wouldn't stop flowing, especially as she replayed the last thing Mark had said before their argument escalated.
"Know your place. You're just a burden. It's your fate to follow whatever Mom and Dad decide."
The longest sentence she'd ever heard from him, yet it struck with more force than anything else. Her chest ached at being treated like a lifeless thing since birth, and the pain doubled when it came from someone within her own family.
Almost unconsciously, her hand moved toward the hidden blade she always kept for moments like this. Mark had confiscated many before, but they never truly disappeared. Some were always tucked away, where only she could find them. A long, fresh cut bloomed across her delicate skin. Blood welled up in a slow stream, yet the sting never came.
At that exact moment, the front door burst open, footsteps rushed in her direction, and she faintly heard someone calling her name. But before the voice could reach, the wound grew deeper, her lips turned pale, and consciousness slipped away completely.
********
Kiara hadn't been able to sit still, pacing back and fort, checked her phone repeatedly, then glancing anxiously at the sterile white door in front of her. At last it opened and a doctor stepped out.
She rushed forward immediately. "Is she going to be okay, doctor?"
"Please calm down first. Miss Hadrien fainted due to blood loss from a wound on her arm. But we've treated it, and thankfully we still had enough Type A blood in supply," the doctor explained gently.
Relief flooded her body so suddenly that her knees nearly gave way. All the fear she had kept locked inside loosened its grip.
"Miss Hadrien is stable now. Once she's fully awake and feeling stronger, she'll be fit to leave. Antibiotics are a must to prevent infection, along with supplements to help her body recover. Make sure none are skipped."
"Alright… Thank you so much, Doctor."
"You're welcome. I'll take my leave now."
Once the doctor disappeared, Once the doctor disappeared, Kiara sank into a chair just outside the room where Jolly lay. A shaky exhale escaped. This wasn't the first time she had gone through something like this, yet her heart hadn't grown any stronger to bear it.
Anger didn't come at least, not toward Jolly. Kiara understood the burden that girl carried, the shadows she kept hidden away.
Still, she couldn't help but wonder~ what had happened this time? What could've broken through again, enough to make Jolly resort to hurting herself again.
********
As evening fell, the sky was bathed in a warm orange glow. Kiara was peeling an apple for her friend, who lay weakly in the hospital bed.
"How did you end up bringing me here?"
Kiara sighed. "I couldn't stop worrying, especially since you didn't keep me updated. So, I decided to come over, and my guess was right."
"I'm sorry."
"Forget about it, just finish your apple." Kiara handed over the plate with neatly peeled fruit.
Guilt washed over Jolly. She could feel the frustration in her dearest friend, knowing she was to blame. "I'm truly sorry. I've caused you so much trouble."
Kiara stared at her with a blank expression. "You promised me. We just talked about it this morning, and now here you are, hurting yourself again. But I'll always try to understand and wait until you're ready to open up."
A heavy silence hung between them until Jolly finally spoke. "Dad's going to stop my studies and might even marry me off to one of our relatives' kid," she said quietly.
Kiara froze, shocked by the news. "Why?"
Jolly looked at her, filled with sadness. "I missed a few classes last week because I was sick. My grades dropped because of it. Dad found out and got really angry. Now he says I might have to repeat the course, and all that money will be wasted."
Kiara couldn't hold back her tears. "But you were sick, Jolly, not on purpose," she said as wiping her tears away.
Jolly gave a faint smile. "You know my condition, right? So, I'm not really surprised by his decision." It was a lie, of course ~ the smoothest lie.
Kiara was taken aback. She couldn't understand how Jolly's parents always called her weak. Everyone knew Jolly had been born frail, her health always on the edge. Her parents kept calling her weak and useless, but to Kiara, Jolly was the strongest person she'd ever met. How could she still smile and stand tall, despite everything, even when her own family treated her like this?
"I'm going to talk to your mom and dad," Kiara said firmly.
"For what?"
"To make sure you don't have to quit school."
"Don't..."
"Why? Do you want to keep being their puppet? Isn't it your dream to keep going and get your Master's together?"
Jolly nodded slowly.
"Doing what they say won't stop them from hurting you just to get what they want," Kiara said softly.
"I don't want you to get tangled up in this. My dad's tough. He doesn't take his words lightly. Even my brother, you know, stubborn and rebellious as he is, gave in to dad's control."
"I'll be okay. I'll make sure we stay connected," Jolly added quietly. "But... I'm sorry. I can't keep our promise to continue our Master's at the same university."
Kiara pulled her friend into another hug, trying to soothe her as best she could. Little did they know, someone by the door had quietly overheard their conversation.
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*** To Be Continue ***