August 1994
Life at Cave Hill slowly returned to its normal pace following the World Cup. Well, almost. While Aveline spent most of her last days of the summer break on her broom, flying high and fast over her family estate, carefree and wild, Sebastian couldn't help but wonder. He wasn't dense, he noticed the changes that slowly happened over the summer. Since the death of their father, Lilith became busy managing everything he left behind. And yet, she still found the time to spend time with both of them. Aveline and Sebastian were complete opposites, they knew that, but Lilith always found something for them to do together. She was their glue.
But ever since the World Cup, Lilith scarcely left their father's study. If it wasn't for his late-night trips to the kitchen during which he bumped into her leaving the study, he wouldn't have seen her at all. He understood, of course, he did. Their father was also an extremely busy man, and their family was very influential. It was natural that the duty would fall onto Lilith whom he trained as his successor. But he couldn't help the pang he felt in his chest. It felt like he lost his sister along with his father.
With one swift motion, he closed his school trunk. Everything was packed and ready for the next school year. It was already dark outside and he heard the front door of the manor close a few hours ago, meaning that Aveline has returned and was, hopefully, packing. As he looked around his room, his eyes fell on a framed picture on his table. He couldn't be older than ten in that picture because Lilith was dressed in her Hogwarts uniform while him and Aveline were in simple clothes, at least a head and a half smaller than her and grinning while their older sister pretended to be annoyed. He needed to talk to her.
Their father raised them well, taught them how to be polite, patient and respectful, how to take on a responsibility, and how to be good. But Lilith raised them to question, to wonder, to love. So even though his first instinct was to barge into their father's Lilith's study, he took a deep breath and politely knocked. And only when he heard a quiet come in he opened the door. To his surprise, he didn't find Lilith sitting behind the mahogany desk his father always used to sit. Instead, she sat crossed-legged on the floor, crouched over parchments spread all around her. What concerned him a little bit was a half-empty bottle of firewhisky near her and a cigarette held between the fingers of her right hand. When she finally looked up, he could see small bags under her eyes.
"Hey." she motioned for him to join her.
"Everything packed?" he noticed how she shuffled a few of the parchments in front of her so he couldn't see.
"Everything packed and checked." his eyes lingered on the cigarette. "You're smoking." Lilith only rolled her eyes and took a drag out of the white stick. He knew that Lilith smoked and he knew for years but he was never fond of the habit.
"Yes, Sebastian, I am. What can I do for you?" he brushed off her tone and looked at the parchments around.
"Look, I know you're busy but it feels like we hardly see you anymore." he sighed. "It's like you're not even here." Lilith breathed out a small cloud of smoke before rubbing her temples.
"I'm not busy, I'm drowning. Look around Seb. Do you see this?" she motioned towards a stack of opened envelopes nearby. "These came just yesterday. And all this," she waved towards the parchments around. "I know first-hand that father was busy and immaculate but he always delayed everything. We fought about it all the time, and now? It all fell onto me. All the deals, leases and meetings. Everything." she sighed. Lilith never raised her voice, not even now when she was clearly irritated. "So I'm not busy, I'm drowning and I'm trying to work out a system to get through all of this." he didn't realise it until now but as she looked him right in the eye, he saw how all the stress made Lilith look older than she did at the start of the summer. "Seb, you and Avy are not five anymore. You don't need me to watch you all the time. You two have been my job for the past sixteen years, and I think I did well. But this is my job now. And it's hard, really hard. So please, I don't need a lecture about how busy I am. What I need is a brother who will keep an eye on Avy. Because Morgana knows I cannot deal with her shenanigans this year. Please?" Sebastian swallowed hard. He felt ashamed. He didn't realise how much work his father left behind but looking at the mess all around, he couldn't blame Lilith for withdrawing. So he nodded.
"Thank you." she tapped the cigarette and he watched the ash fall into the ashtray.
"Will you manage it with school?" Lilith rubbed her temple once more.
"I will take work with me and I have a meeting with Dumbledore on the first day because of it but yes, I will. We are Farrows, aren't we?" a small smile played on her lips as she said that. He chuckled at that. It was a thing they always said when something hard came up be it exams, first heart-breaks or their father's funeral. 'We are Farrows, aren't we? Per aspera ad astra.'.
"I will go check if Avy's packed." Lilith nodded. But as he was almost at the door she stopped him.
"Tell her that Squeaky has her Quidditch uniform. She forgot to unpack it again so I had her wash it and clean it."
"Will do."
As he suspected, Aveline's room was in shambles. An opened trunk laid in the middle with clothes and books everywhere and Aveline paced around the room.
"Everything alright?"Aveline quickly turned around, panic clearly written all over her face.
"No! I can't find my jersey. I swear to Merlin if I forgot it in the dorm..."
"Hey, easy! Squeaky has it." he had to chuckle as her panic quickly turned into confusion.
"Squeaky?" now he had to laugh because as the house-elf appeared in the room, Aveline jumped high at the loud noise that startled her.
"Yes, miss?" Squeaky has been their family's house-elf ever since before they were born and it showed on her but she was still as energetic and sweet as she was when they were babies.
"Squeaky, do you... do you have my uniform?" the house-elf nodded with a smile.
"Thank you, Squeaky, I love you. Can you get it for me, please?" Squeaky quickly disappeared, and Aveline glared daggers at Sebastian who continued to chuckle at her expression.
"I hate you."
"I know."
"Why did she do that? I was looking for it like an idiot for almost an hour!"
"Because she knew you forgot to unpack it." he shrugged and watched Aveline throw her hands up.
"I would remember eventually!"
"Yeah, and when was the first time you actually thought about it?" Aveline was silent for a few moments before scratching her head.
"An hour ago." she mumbled.
"There you go."
"But still! She always does that, and then I look like an idiot!" Aveline spread out on her bed dramatically. She always had a bit of a flare for dramatics.
"She just knows you, Avy. And cares about you."
"Yeah well, she has a funny way of showing it lately." Aveline huffed and sat up. So he wasn't the only one that noticed. With a heavy sigh, he closed the door and sat down beside her.
"Avy, I know it's been different around here lately. Trust me, I get it. But try putting yourself in her shoes. Do you know how much work dad left behind? I've seen it, and Lili has been buried in it for weeks now. She's trying, Avy. Just cut her some slack, alright?" Aveline was silent for a few moments before nodding.
"I miss him." she mumbled quietly.
"I do too. But we will manage, alright?" finally he saw a little smile appear on Aveline's lips.
"We're Farrows, right?" now he had to laugh. Even if they didn't realise it, Lilith and Aveline were very similar sometimes.
"Exactly.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
September 1994
The train ride on the 1st of September was surprisingly quiet. Lilith managed to find an empty compartment which was not an easy thing to do. But being Lilith Farrow had its perks as everyone who passed the compartment and saw her there kept walking without disturbing her. She hadn't slept a wink in the last twenty-eight hours and her eyes were getting sore from staring at the parchments spread around her but she kept going. She had to. But zero sleep equalled zero patience so she was glad everyone avoided the compartment because she was a ticking time bomb.
And that time bomb was about to explode when she heard the door opening with a loud bang that made her lose her focus. As her head snapped towards the noise, she felt her heart dropping into her stomach. Hermione Granger stood frozen at the door, eyes widened in surprise.
"Oh... you are not Ron and Harry." Lilith had to take a deep breath. She didn't want to snap, she didn't, she didn't.
"Wow Granger, that is an excellent observation. I didn't notice!" and she did it. As she watched Hermione straighten up and gulp nervously she immediately wanted to crawl away somewhere and die there.
"S-Sorry, wrong compartment I guess."
"You think?" and here we go, she did it again. But Hermione's eyes widened as they fell onto the parchments that were spread around the seats and the trunk in the middle of the compartment that served her as a makeshift table.
"Is that homework? Is the sixth year that hard?" Lilith never raised her voice, never but she was running on no sleep and sugar at this point so she had to close her eyes and take a deep breath again because didn't want to raise her voice for the first time, especially not on Hermione Granger.
"Granger, this is my business and my business alone. Why are you still here?" well, at least she did not raise her voice. But she knew that even without it her words could cut deep. She could see it on Hermione's face.
"Sorry I..." but before Hermione could finish, she was interrupted by a familiar deep voice.
"Excuse my friend, Hermione. She didn't have her coffee yet, ain't that right Lili?" Lilith leaned back in her seat with a groan. Cedric Diggory was her best friend since diapers. She loved him to death but at that moment she felt like killing him as he leaned against the door with that stupid cheeky grin on his stupid face.
"You," she pointed at Cedric, "stay out of it. And you," she pointed at Hermione. "just go." she didn't miss Hermione's cheeks redden a little as she gulped nervously and finally disappeared out of sight. Cedric was still smiling as he entered the compartment.
"I come with a peace offering." he extended his right hand that he was hiding behind his back.
"Coffee?"
"Four-shot expresso, no milk, no sugar." Lilith immediately latched onto the paper cup, almost emptying it up in big gulps. Finally, finally some caffeine. She didn't want to drink it all at once so she put the cup on the top of her trunk. She noticed that while she was too busy drinking, Cedric shut the door and was now sitting in the seat opposite her.
"I love you."
"Me or the coffee?"
"Shut up." Cedric chuckled before leaning forward in his seat.
"Speaking of shutting up, what in Merlin's name did I just walk into?"
"What are you talking about?" before she could register it Cedric leaned forward and slapped her knee.
"Hey!"
"What possessed you to snap like that at the girl you like?" Lilith's heart was beating so fast at this point that she didn't know if it was caused by the high dose of caffeine or Cedric's question.
"I don't like her." Cedric slapped her knee again, hard this time.
"Stop hitting me!"
"Then stop playing dumb, stupid! You think I didn't notice?" Cedric raised his eyebrow at her. "Every time we sat down at the library, you always made sure you could see her from your seat. Same at the Great Hall, and the same in the corridors. For the past two years, Lilith. And let's not forget the time you volunteered out of the blue to help make the mandrake solution in our fourth year during the time she was laying petrified in the hospital wing." Lilith's heart wasn't beating anymore, it just stopped and dropped deep into her stomach. She didn't think he noticed. She thought she was so careful. She sank back into her seat.
"So my question is, why do you always do that? Why do you snap at her or ignore her every time you two are in the same room? You don't treat people you like, like that, Lili. So why?" Cedric didn't sound annoyed or angry, his tone was gentle and caring. Lilith couldn't look at him anymore. She quickly fished out her cigarette case and a lighter from her robes and lit a cigarette, needing some outlet for the stress she felt at the moment. Cedric didn't say a word, he only stood up to open a window before leaning forward and stealing one for himself.
It wasn't easy for Lilith to talk about her feelings. It never was. And somehow Hermione Granger opened a can full of feelings she had no idea how to talk about. But this was Cedric. Cedric, who stayed with her through thick and thin. Cedric, who always had her back. Cedric, who was there for her high highs and low lows. Lilith leaned back into her seat and puffed out a small cloud of smoke, her eyes fixed on the window.
"I don't know how it happened, it just did. In our fourth year, I was at a library. And she just showed up out of nowhere, saying that Madam Pince told her I checked out the Advanced potions. She wanted to look at Polyjuice potion, and I have no idea what possessed me, but I started to explain to her everything about it. And we sat there for hours, just talking about that damn potion because she kept interrupting me with questions... and," she sighed and looked briefly at Cedric who silently listened from his seat. "She was so smart and focused, and passionate. That drew me in. After that, it just started snowballing into something bigger I cannot comprehend." she took another draw and watched the smoke slowly flow toward the opened window. "I'm scared, Ced. Alright? Happy? I'm scared because I'm no good for her. I'm not. There are already whispers going around school about what my family does. What we do. I'm sure she heard them. Can you imagine if I told her? About everything?" she chuckled dryly and watched Cedric frown at her words. "Ced, in my opinion, it's better to love someone from afar than to have them be so scared of you they can't even look you in the eye." she took a sip from the coffee cup. At that moment, her brain was in heaven from the mix of caffeine and nicotine but her heart was still heavy, hurting from the words that came out of her.
"To be honest, I didn't really expect something like that so I don't really have a talk prepared for all that heavy stuff." Lilith snorted at Cedric's remark, a smile finally making its way onto her face.
"You're really shitty at this, you know?"
"Shut up, I'm trying here. But in my opinion, just because you are afraid of the outcome, you don't have to treat her the way you do. Words hurt, Lili, even if you don't mean them. You don't have to confess to her, just try to be friendlier. Be nicer. Treat her better than you do now. She deserves at least that." Lilith broke eye contact first, nodding in agreement. Even if he was making it up on a whim, he was right. She should do better.
"You know that loving someone you can't have is supposed to be the most beautiful way to kill yourself?" she heard Cedric snort at her comment.
"Cynic."
"I prefer romantic, thank you very much." Cedric nudged her knee.
"Hey, what happened to that French girl anyway? You never told me." Lilith groaned at his question.
"Why are you so interested in my love life all of a sudden?" she only received a shrug and a smug smirk.
"I'm bored, and you're here. So talk."