I crashed through the thatched roof of the Da Vinci Studio like a flying pizza.
Decaying wooden beams cracked beneath him, throwing up years of paint dust. As I coughed a third mouthful of ash from a pile of anatomical sketches, a Milan-accented exclamation came from overhead:
"God! My flying machine is a success!"
He looked up and saw Da Vinci hanging -- his 40-year-old face more alive than later portraits, his beard burnt black with what looked like gunpowder residue, freckles lining the bridge of his nose in asteroid belts.
The most striking thing was the leather apron, embroidered with geometric formulas in silver thread, and the corner of the coat had a carving knife with a quill pen.
"You must be a scholar from the East!"
He pulled me out of the wood as hard as he was hauling stone sculpture
"This perfect parabolic fall fits exactly what I calculated last week...."
"Host, marbles."
The hamster system popped out of my neckline, causing Da Vinci to take three steps backwards and knock over the copper pot.
Cloudy liquid spills over the easel and the unfinished Lady with the Silver Sable begins to bubble - the aquamarine paint of the lady's skirt is melting into slime.
"My new paint!" Da Vinci clutched his tousled curls and wailed, "They say egg yolk mixed with powdered ochre lasts forever, but this damn Roman humidity...."
I took the opportunity to pull out the last luminous marble. The glass ball lit up in a warm yellow halo in the palm, and suddenly the studio was filled with pulsating spots of light. Da Vinci's wailing stopped abruptly, as he moved obsessively close to the light source, the twinkling stars reflected in his pupils:
"This is... Sunlight trapped in a crystal?"
"It's called stereoscopic light analysis."
As I was talking, I kicked over a metal can with the words "Aircraft fuel (no open flame)" scrawled on the label. "Want to learn how to make paint glow in the moonlight?"
The hamster snapped at my earlobe:
"Warning! The knowledge of chemistry is beyond the limits of The Times, and it is recommended to use metaphysics instead."
Da Vinci had brought in three brick-thick notebooks, quills scurrying across the parchment:
"How many donkey cochlear implants does it take to extract gelatin? Or use firefly peritoneal fluid as a medium?"
I glimpsed a mountain of failed paint cans in the corner, one of them covered with iridescent crystals.
A flash of the fluorescent spray used in modern street graffiti - perhaps no chemical reaction is needed?
"Find me some fish scales and oyster shells."
I pulled down the studio curtains for a protective mask. "And half a pound of church candles."
When Da Vinci brought the material, I slipped the marbles into the recesses of the candlestick. Colorful light beams are projected on the oyster shell powder, and fish scales curl into a natural prism in the light heat. The system quietly adds a little silver powder to the mixture:
"It's a fake fluorescent. It lasts three months."
"Now, witness the miracle."
When I splash my homemade paint on the canvas, a draft of Leonardo Da Vinci's treasured Madonna takes on a pearly sheen.
Twilight seeped through the drafty Windows, and the faded saint's robes glowed blue in the gloom.
"Moonlight painting!" Da Vinci fell to his knees and the charcoal slipped through his fingers
"This is more than Giotto's mural..."
The explosion interrupted his praise. We both turned to look at the smoking metal canister -- the fuel I had just kicked over was flowing down the floor toward the fireplace.
The model of Da Vinci's ornithopter began to spontaneously ignite, and the flames licked the thirty-eight aircraft drawings hanging from the roof.
"Start Plan B!"
I grabbed the luminous marble and ran to the skylight. The system screamed through the smoke:
"The host! You don't have a Plan B."
"Now we have!"
I slipped the marble into Da Vinci's hand
"Remember the light in the painted church Windows? Smash it on the ground!"
The moment the glass burst, the stored light energy poured out like the Milky Way. The studio turned into a brilliant sea of stars, and the flame suddenly went out in the strong light.
Da Vinci dances ecstatically in the Waterfall of light, his shadow cast on the wall, spouting twelve waving arms.
"The target's cult value has breached the threshold!"
A golden fireworks display is displayed
"Leonardo Da Vinci volunteers to reward the skill of Eternal Drawing - but you have to solve a new problem first."
I looked down the hamster's paw, and the deacon from the church across the street was rushing in with someone.
The old friar growled through the smoke:
"Another Da Vinci devil experiment! He must be thrown out of Florence this time!"
"Host, suggest a miracle."
The system suddenly switches to choir BGM mode and says, "Sketch an angel on the wall with leftover paint, now!"
Da Vinci has delivered the scraper and the board. As I dabbed in fluorescent paint, the system quietly adjusted my muscle memory.
When the deacons broke through the door, the entire facade was glowing in holy blue - the angel I scribbled had a hamster face and a skittles scepter.
The crowd knelt in unison. The old friar's cross fell to the ground:
"God has sent a new guardian angel!"
Da Vinci chuckled in my ear: "Teacher, you drew a squirrel tail for the angel."
"This is the streamlined design of the future." I pulled off my charred cuff." Now, let's talk about the three months rent you owe...."
Da Vinci's studio suddenly began to rattle. He turned the brass valve behind the easel, and a tunnel opened in the floor, pouring out bundles of sheepskin scrolls. Teacher, look at my rent solution!"
The scroll is a mechanical design drawing
A piggy bank with wings and a coin slot shaped like the Medici family crest.
"When gold coins enter here,"
He excitedly pointed to the gear structure, "which will trigger the spring device to play 'Ode to Joy' and spit out the equivalent amount of tin money!"
"You're going to pay your rent with fake money? "
I almost knocked over a Virgin statue I'd just restored.
"Host triggers side quests."
The hamster system suddenly pops up a holographic menu, "Earn 10 Florins in half an hour by legal means, or Da Vinci will be jailed for fraud (historical correction forces back)"
Outside the window came the landlord smashing the door:
"Leonardo! Pay up or hand over your junk!"
Da Vinci pulled a knotted iron box out of the tunnel:
"This is a music box I designed for the Duke of Milan. It plays Greensleeves..."
"We don't even pay the royalties these days!"
I pulled the iron box and found three Chinese characters engraved on the side - "trial installation" must have been left by the previous host. The system quietly reminds:
"The last host was a Ming artisan who taught Da Vinci mortise and tenon structure."
The smashing of doors became the sound of axes. I grabbed the glowing paint can, threw it at the tin, turned my head and shouted to Da Vinci:
"Bring out the bronze lion's head from the tunnel!"
When the landlord broke in, he saw a glowing bronze lion spitting gold coins. I stood by the iron box that had been converted into a slot machine and shouted:
"Medici Bank's latest financial products, invest 1 copper coin, have a chance to win gold..."
"I want to play!" The landlord poked his fat finger at the starter lever. Da Vinci secretly turned the hidden magnet mechanism, the iron box played the off-key "Green Sleeve", and the lion's head came out with 20 copper coins.
"This is commercial fraud!"
The system screams in my head, "You control the coin rate with a magnet!"
"It's called the Renaissance game of probability."
I pressed the stop button at Lion's Ear, and suddenly a gold jade coin popped out of the tin box. "Look! First prize!"
The crowd went wild. The silk merchants who came to watch the party collapsed the door frame, and Da Vinci's studio was turned into a casino. As the tenth nobleman stuffed the bag into the lion's mouth, the system suddenly alerted:
"Historical deviation value exceeded!"
I turned my head and saw Da Vinci adding flapping wings to a slot machine:
"If combined with wind power, the odds can be improved..."
"Mission accomplished! Move!"
Hamster system explodes smoke bombs. I dragged Da Vinci into the tunnel, and the landlord cheered behind me:
"I won! I won! The lion spits out rubies again!"
Before the trapdoor closed, I caught a glimpse of the bronze lion beginning to transform - the fluorescent paint given by the system actually made the statue come alive! He was scratching the wall with his jewel claws, and his tail swept away three monks who had pounced on him for the money.
"Host gets interim title of 'Business wizard'."
The hamster munches on the virtual coin. "Side effect: Everything you say for the next three days rhymes."
Da Vinci drew a design while running inside the secret passage:
"How wonderful! The holy beast of the automatic coin, which will solve the debt crisis of the whole of Tuscany..."
In the light at the end of the passage stood a man in black wearing an eagle mask, his dagger pressed against the frame of The Lady with the Silver Sable:
"I've heard so much about the magician from the East."
The system suddenly crashes like a deadlock:
"Didi -- Detecting someone who shouldn't be there..."