A pained moan slipped past my lips as the slick fabric of the rubber-wet suit scraped against my rubber-wet skin. I missed a step in my attempt to quickly get the suit on and landed on my ass for the second time. Something about falling threw me into a laughing fit. My funny bone and skin sensitivity were a result of the mixture of wine and cannabis coursing through my veins. When I finally reined in my laughter, I attempted to stand up but only made it halfway before slipping again. I closed my eyes, bracing for the fall, but instead, I found myself cocooned in a warm embrace.
I opened my eyes only to find myself staring into Sunshine's amber eyes, and for a few seconds, I was entranced by her heated gaze. Her gaze slipped down to my lips as she started moving slowly towards me, but I righted myself using her as support. I could not erase her feelings for me, but I would encourage them either. She let an awkward laugh before slipping the oversized T-shirt off her body, and once again,
I was rendered speechless. She had matching red underwear that could only be described as sexy lingerie that did more to flatter than cover her body. When my heart rate picked up at the beautiful display of femininity in front of me, I attributed it to the drugs, refusing to acknowledge any other contributing factors. The drugs, however, erased my filter.
"Are you trying to make me jealous?" I signed to her, making her lift her shoulders in confusion. "You are making me painfully aware that I am a B cup and you are a D?"
She laughed at my accusation, but I could not have been more serious. Although I had an amazing figure, my curves were more prominent on my bottom half. Sunshine's body belonged in a Playboy magazine and was guaranteed to give a lot of people sleepless nights. Her mid-section, starting from her neck down to her thighs, was a whole shade lighter than her face, arms, and legs, probably as a result of being constantly covered. I wanted to curb her feelings before they grew out of proportion, but there I was, practically salivating over her bewitching curves.
"My eyes are up here," she signed, smiling when I finally remembered to look at her face.
"It's the drugs, they have me doing strange things."
"Of course," she signed before slipping into her wet suit, finally covering her body and giving me a fighting chance.
I could tell that she did not believe my excuse, and my staring had made her happy, judging from her blinding smile. In all honesty, given the fact that we were both high, we had no business attempting to go surfing. Sunshine had sworn on her life that it would a once in a lifetime experience, and everyone had to experience it once. Even though I had given in to her pestering, I was still terrified that we were going to drown. I let her pull me into the hot sun that immediately felt unbearable under our rubber-wet suits, making me grateful when we stepped into the cold water.
After lengthy instructions from Sunshine, I spent the next hour falling headfirst into the water every time I tried to stand on the board. Every time I plunged into the dark, cold water, she was there to pick me up and pull me out of the water. After the twentieth time, I could see her patience waning as a frown began overtaking her forehead. She had never been a patient person, to begin with, and watching her try her hardest not to hit me over the head with a board was highly entertaining. I requested a time-out when it became apparent I was not going to learn how to stand on the board that day. I sat on my board and she remained in the water looking mildly disappointed. I laughed at her sour expression, a move which she did not take kindly to.
"You are a bad teacher, or else I would have managed it by now."
She pulled up her board and sat on it, facing me, her face now masked with anger. She hoisted herself and balanced on her board in one go before sitting back down. She gestured towards the board, and she tried to voice her words for the first time since meeting her. The sound was rough and unsteady, fading in and out, making her words unintelligible. She was angry enough to try and yell at me, and yet everything she did in that moment was endearing. Without even realizing it, she had discarded her insecurities and revealed her truth. Her voice moved me more than her naked body ever could.
"How can you not even stand when the water is still? This is how small children are taught. It's just standing," she finally signed.
"Your instructions were unclear, maybe you should try speaking louder."
She paused, her jaw slacking from the shock of what I said, and she gave an incredulous look before dissolving in a fit of silent laughter. I smiled at her silently rocking body, wishing she could laugh out loud as she had done once. I found it enthralling every time she used her voice. It was a sound I was sure only I had been afforded the privilege of hearing. That sound spoke of hurt and triumph, of resolve and strength. Hearing it felt like a balm to my soul, like a reminder that even at rock bottom, there was at the very least stable ground.
"You did not go there!" she signed after collecting herself
"You looked down on me first, it's only fair."
"Okay, then this is why your parents never loved you," she retorted, and it was time to be shocked at the low jab.
I dramatically placed my hands over my heart and fell back on the board, which threw it out of balance, causing me to fall into the ocean. Sunshine pulled me out of the cold water only to push me back in. When I resurfaced, she was resting her hands on her board, laughing at me. I threw a handful of water in her face, some of it managing to get in her mouth that had been wide open as she laughed. She choked on the salty water for a second before spitting it out. She then turned to me, resolve smoothening her features, and I knew I was done for. I tried to swim away, but she was on me in seconds. Just like that, the next hour passed with us playing in the water. I would deny it if anyone asked, but I had an amazing time, most likely because it was Sunshine.
After exhausting ourselves, we removed our wet suits, having accomplished nothing, and lay down underneath my trusty umbrella that continued to sway in the breeze. Sunshine had taken the initiative to bring out a straw mat that I had forgotten I owned, along with some thick shawls, making for a comfortable resting place. She had also prepared snacks and wine along with a Bluetooth speaker, which had me cracking up given that she could not listen to music. She handed me my phone and pointed to the speaker, urging me to put on some music, but I declined.
"I don't mind, I know you love music," she signed
"I love music, but I am also okay with silence as long as we have each other for company," I signed back, smiling, realizing that I meant it.
She smiled affectionately at me before lying back down. That day felt like one of my fantasies had come to life. I wasn't the damaged girl incapable of truly loving herself or others. I wasn't a survivor or a victim of circumstance, I simply was. The sun glittered over the water in a picturesque way, its heat tempered with a cool breeze and the umbrella's shade. My heart raced with excitement, most likely from the wine and infused snack we were consuming. The very air around us shimmered with the salty taste of freedom, and I found myself wishing that I could exist in that day forever.
Sunshine extended her hand to me and let it hover by my side, looking expectantly at me. I hesitated for a brief moment before I took it; it was just holding hands. She smiled brightly at me before turning her back to the ocean while holding onto my hand. Our hands were sticky and covered with sand, but I withstood the discomfort, allowing her to continue holding on to me. After this perfect day, it was the least I could do.