"What are you doing here?" she demanded, frozen by the door. "How did you get in?"
"It was nice to see you again, Lila." he replied, flashing her a sad smile that made her heart skipped a beat. "Addie let me in." he added. This must be the 'surprise' that she meant, Lila thought.
"Nate...was it you?" she murmured, surprised by the edge in her tone. Of all the people she could have imagined, she would never have guessed it would be Nate, the one giving her these roses all this time.
His eyes flicked towards the roses, before turning back to her, narrowing. "No, unfortunately. If I had known that you loved roses so much..."
Lila felt her shoulders slumped, nodding in acceptance. She couldn't understand why she felt relieved to hear that. "May I ask, why are you here? After all these years..."
He stepped forward, standing under the soft light in the dressing room and it was then that Lila saw the shadows under his deep blue eyes. As if he had lost his peace over the years they've separated, making him look more haunted. That youthful spark of his that she used to know and love, gone.
She watched as he fished out a white envelope out of his suit pocket. It was tied in a beautiful dark red ribbon. An invitation, she noted, as she gently took it from his hands with her free hand. Her eyes scanned through the cursive letters beneath the ribbon, making out his full name, flawlessly written and...another woman. Angelina St.Clair.
"Are you getting married?" she asked, failing to mask her surprise and the churning of her gut at the realization. She hadn't even known he was seeing someone. She made a mental note to ask Charlie about this later.
"Yes," he said it like it was some death sentence, which caused her to look at him, properly look at him as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers. "I'd like for you to be there."
"Why?" was the first thing that bursted through her mouth.
"Because everyone will be there." he replied, confidently. As if that alone would convince her to go.
"No. That's silly." she said, making a move to hand the invitation back.
He stepped back, as if he couldn't touch the envelope. "I want you to be there."
"Nate, that's insane, especially after the way we ended things."
"I don't blame you, Lila," he replied, catching her off guard as he took the invitation from her hands and placed it carefully right next to the red roses on the dressing table. "I've thought a lot about the way we ended things these past few years."
Lila couldn't ignore the way his words hung in the air, a subtle reminder of the things they'd never fully discussed. She scoffed, trying to distance herself away from the tension. "Why would you want me there, Nate? I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want my ex at my wedding."
Her gaze flickered defiantly at him, noting how his jaw tightened, just the way it always had when she hit his nerve. It was as if nothing changed between them. "We're adults," he replied, his voice roughened. "I would've thought that you, out of all people, would know how to leave the past where it belongs."
He shrunk the space between them again, revealing their unspoken history. "I still don't think it's appropriate that I go."
"Why?" he stalked closer, his voice low as his presence closed in on her. The same musky scent of his, with a hint of oud, engulfed her with the past. She instinctively stepped back, her spine meeting the cool, unforgiving wall but she didn't look away, couldn't. Especially when the air between them had thickened. He was too close, too familiar. If she closed her eyes right now, she would still remember the way his touch would feel, the way he felt inside her, his ability to carve his marks into her soul.
"It's highly inappropriate, Nate." she bit out, trying her best not to sound out of breath. "What about your family? What would they think?"
He cupped her cheek gently, his thumb brushing over her soft skin, sending shivers down her spine. The touch was so familiar, so tender, stirring something raw and deep within her stomach that made it churn in an entirely different way. She wasn't sure if she was on the verge of a panic attack or if this was desire. She certainly couldn't tell. Had it been this long since she felt the touch of a man? Was she this pathetic?
His gaze lingered on her, his blue eyes turning bluer than ever. "Despite the way things ended between us, you're still very much important to me, Lila," he said, his voice low, uncharacteristically soft. "It would mean a lot if you came, especially since almost everyone will be there. It'd be like a high school reunion."
Her heart skipped at the way he said important, the way the word wrapped around her, pulling her in like a warm, familiar embrace. She could still feel the tension between them, thick and charged and...wrong. She couldn't decide if she wanted to step closer or run.
So she looked away, towards the roses lying there, waiting to be admired. "Where would this wedding be?"
"Hawthorne Isle."
Her eyes shot back, widening with shock. No one except for family and a few guests had ever been. So to have his wedding there...it would mean...she must be special.
He pulled her back from her thoughts, his hands sliding up her neck, fingers curling gently around her throat. "Don't worry about the others, just come."
"As a friend."
"As a friend." he repeated though his words felt empty. She was too distracted to notice, what with the way his thumbs brushed the curve of her jaw with a slow, deliberate pressure. Their eyes met, an electric charge crackling in the air between them.
Losing the war raging inside him, he pulled her by the neck, drew into her and kissed her. His lips, so familiar, so hot against hers, pried her lips open with a hunger that sent a tremor through her body that made her impossible to pull away. Her pulse hammered in her ears, her body betraying her with every frantic thrum as her gut churned, reminding her of her reality. Her mind surged her back to their past, the countless times they've done this and more as if nothing else mattered but their relentless drive to sate their hunger. His breath was ragged, his fingers digging into her skin and for a moment, everything else disappeared.
It was like lightning had struck within her, painful and brutal. He no longer belonged to her. He was engaged, to be married. Immediately she shoved him away. Suddenly disgusted at herself for succumbing to his charms. She was stronger than this.
Her breath came in like shallow gasps, her chest tight as her fingers drifted to her swollen lips. She dared herself to look back at him, who looked like he couldn't believe what he had just done. Though she could see no remorse in his eyes, angering her.
"I don't think it's a good idea that I go." she rasped out, noticing that she had dropped her flowers on the ground.
She bent down to pick them up, only for their hands to touch. She jolted away like his touch was poisonous. He pretended to ignore it, like the tiny action didn't faze him. "I'm sorry," he muttered, looking down at the flowers on the ground. "I didn't mean for this to happen."
Handing it back to her, he added, "It would still mean a lot if you'd come, truly."
"What would your fiancé think?"
"She's a big fan of yours," he replied, smiling genuinely as he kept his eyes on those flowers despite it being in her arms. "I'm sure she would be thrilled to have you there."
"I'm sorry, Nate..." she said, her hand pinching the bridge of her nose with frustration. "What happened, shouldn't have happened," she opened her eyes to find him looking at her with his sad eyes, "you're engaged, for fuck's sake."
He chuckled to himself, as if her apologizing is ridiculous to him. "It's all my fault. I was just suddenly overwhelmed with the past. But I'll only forgive you for your part if you come."
'Was he setting me up?' Lila thought, but didn't bother finding out the answer. She was too exhausted to. So she relented and let him win, this time. "I'll think about it. If my schedule allows it."
"Well I'll take what I can get," he smirked, making her wonder if this was all a ploy. He certainly didn't act like a guilt-ridden man.
She only nodded, her mind still processing at the kiss they've shared. It felt like stepping into an old pair of shoes, or riding a bike. Somehow the body just remembers. But it still doesn't change the fact that it was wrong.
"I'll see you soon, Lila," he bid, moving towards the door, stopping only when he was on the other side, "I'm looking forward to hearing from you."
She stared at him blankly, her lips opening and closing, losing her ability at forming a reply. But he accepted her bewilderment anyway, stepping away and leaving her in this little cave of hers. If there's anything about Nathaniel Hawthorne, this ex-lover of hers, it's that he has the uncanny capability of making people feel comfortable in his presence. He'd lure them in, making them feel like they know him until he'd surprise them all with his truth. He is a dangerous man, but it was this danger that lured her to him in the first place.
Exhausted, Lila closed the door of her dressing room, hoping that no one saw or passed by when he was inside. She should've closed the door but for some reason, she had forgotten. Maybe she didn't think that anything would've happened between them. It was better to keep the door open anyway, if truly nothing had happened. But something did.
She let out a frustrated sigh. Her arms were sore from carrying these bouquets, not to mention her hands and wrists, still sore from her performance. Her entire body was screaming for a nice shower and a change of clothes. So she decided to leave all her worries for the next day as she focused on her current task to clean out the last bits of her dressing room. Placing these bouquets on the chair, she eyed the envelope sitting next to the roses and tossed it in her tote bag hanging on one of the hangers of her dressing room. Only then did she allow herself to pick up the roses that laid there prettily all this time, ready to be admired.
Feeling a smile forming at her lips, she inhaled the beautiful scent of these English roses that reminded her of her childhood home. Already she felt her exhaustion slowly dissipating as she closed her eyes, letting her mind run free to that garden, back in England, where she'd spent most of her days running and reading at, all with her father. She felt her lips twisting at his memory, of how her father used to be before he was caught up in shady business. She wondered if that version of him would be proud of her now, if he would be attending all her concerts with her all over the world.
It was strange, how at the very end of her performance, the same bouquet of roses would somehow end up right here, on her dressing room table. Despite her best efforts of finding out the identity of the mysterious sender, she could never uncover his identity. She even had her manager, Addie, hide out in one of the broom carts nearby just to catch him but she never did, vowing that she only saw his shadow and never his face.
So when she found Nate standing here moments ago, her first thought was that it was him. But it couldn't be. It didn't feel right, and he confirmed that. Her only hunch was that the sender must have been someone from her past, because no one else would have known how much these roses meant to her. It was like having a piece of her father with her. And try, as she might, she couldn't think of anyone from her past who would have gone to such lengths.