JUDE
Everyone except Miko is downstairs in the living room.
"Do you think you can make me another plate?" Andre asks Zein. Zein doesn't even complain as he stands up and takes the bowl Andre is holding out, and goes into the kitchen.
"How are you feeling?" Andre asks me as I sit next to him.
"Better. I had an early morning to shake off all the hangover feels."
"Lucky you. This old man here is still in the trenches of it," he kicks Rex, who groans from where he is lying on the floor, head buried under a pillow.
I look at Rin, who is staring at the floor as if he is in deep thought. He must feel my gaze because he looks up and stands up, walking over to Rex.
"Can you get up? We need to talk."
"Talking right now is hard for me, I feel like I am going to die," Rex groans some more, patting the pillow above his head.
Andre chuckles, sitting back. "Just let him rest, you can tell him whatever you want to tell him later."
"How come you are feeling better?" I ask Andre, who shrugs.
"Zein took care of me yesterday night and this morning gave me some painkillers."
"I am the only one who doesn't have anyone taking care of me." Rex sits up, holding his head. "I am this miserable because I need a good friend. Rin, please take care of me."
Rin shrugs off the hand that is reaching for him and exhales.
"Can you guys stop for a minute?"
"Too loud," Rex winces.
Andre laughs as he watches Rex suffer.
"Enough!" Rin snaps loud enough that the whole room falls silent. Granted, it's only the four of us, but his outburst makes us all alert.
"What's wrong, Rin?" I can't help but ask.
He only glances at me before looking at Andre. "Do you guys know what you did yesterday?"
Andre looks at me before looking back at Rin. "What did we do?"
"You caused a scene! You were drunk and caused a scene at your first party. Do you know what this is going to do to us? Do you know what you guys did?"
"Okay, I think you are overreacting a little bit," Rex holds his hand up.
"Am I?" Rin is so mad now. "You broke the coffee table when you were playing around. Everyone at that party recognized you guys. The party that we were supposed to go to meet and shake hands with others, and all we ended up doing was making a fool of ourselves!"
"We did it," Rex points to Andre and himself. "Us. not you and not the rest of the guys.so whatever the repercussions, we will handle it."
"Whatever you do, we will all end up taking responsibility. There is no you, there is all of us!"
Zein joins us with a bowl in hand. "What's going on? I could hear shouting from the kitchen."
"Rin is mad we were drunk yesterday night."
"Well, it wasn't the best behavior, but it wasn't a serious party either. Lots of people were drunk," Zein shrugs and sits next to Andre on the other side, handing him a bowl of soup.
"I can't believe this!" Rin throws his hands in the air. "Am I the only one who is taking this seriously?"
"We will do better next time," I try talking to Rin, but he doesn't even look my way.
"Yeah," Rex agrees with me. "We messed up this one time, so next time we won't do it again. Come on, rin, chill out a little, will you?"
"We can call Teri and ask if we can pay for the table," I offer again and rin pins me with a gaze I can't quite read.
"Simply because you talked to them doesn't mean that you are friends now. And I am not only talking to Rex and Andre here. You too messed up."
"Rin, come on," Zein tries interjecting, but Rin doesn't stop.
"When everyone was going home, I couldn't find you. Do you know the kind of burden you were to me by trying to find out where you were? Am I not your leader, to whom you should inform if you are going to disappear into the night and not care about the rest of the members?"
"I am sorry, I-" I don't know what to say. I messed up. I messed up so badly, I think everything is ruined.
My hands start to shake, so I tuck them in my hoodie, eyes trained on the ground.
"What's going on?"
Everything stills when that person walks in, but I can't even look up. My heart is hammering in my chest and not in the good kind of way.
"rin is freaking out that we drunk a lot and made a fool of ourselves."
"I am not freaking out, I am saying everyone should understand where we are now and why we are here. I know we have all undergone training, but Jude hasn't. He needs to know that there is a sense of loyalty and accountability that we all have as a group.
"Disappearing and showing up in the morning after a night full of worrying is not being accountable or responsible. If this is not something you can do, then you shouldn't be here."
"Rin," Miko speaks up. "Jude didn't disappear into the night, I am the one who took him to eat."
"You don't have to come to his defence. I get it that you feel pity for him-"
"I don't feel pity for him, and I am not defending him. I am telling you what happened. Don't put this on him; if you want someone to direct the anger towards, it should be me."
My throat is tight and my eyes sting as I try to keep my composure. I told him. I told him what happened earlier in the morning.
So why is this happening?
"So you are taking the blame?"
I see Miko's feet walk near me before he stands on my side. "Yes, I am, and you shouldn't speak to him that way either. He is here to stay, not going anywhere. He might not have been a trainee like we all have, but he deserves to be here. The rest that he doesn't know yet, we can show him gently, not shout and treat him so harshly."
I can't stay here.
"Excuse me," I stand up and rush upstairs. I open my door and close it, leaning into it before I close my eyes even as I feel tears rolling down my face.