MIKO
I barely slept last night.
Partly because of the boy sleeping in the room opposite me, or it could be because of my insomnia, I don't know.
The thing is, I can't stop thinking about him. I am trying not to think about how his scent is one of the things I can easily get addicted to, the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, or the way his shy smiles drive me insane.
Jude is slowly getting under my skin, and it has been a day. Yeah, I am insane for thinking about my straight bandmate. I had barely gotten any sleep when I heard his door open so early in the morning and how he was tiptoeing like he was afraid of waking me up.
I don't know what made me look outside my window, only to watch him run around the trail I take once in a while. I have never been tempted to pick up my morning runs like I was this morning. But I had to tamp my excitement down.
I had to force myself to close the drapes and forget about the boy who was overtaking my mind.
I was stuck in my room, doing my reps and working out, when I heard Andre knocking next door a couple of times before going in. its annoying how I heard them laughing and teasing each other, even though the words were muffled. They were being loud but I managed to go to the shower and wash of the sweat and dress up, ready to start my day.
I should have gone downstairs, I should have gone to take breakfast like I usually do, then head to the dance studio and get a couple of routines smoothed out. But I stood there in front of the slightly open door, and decided to get in.
And now I am seated beside him, feeling his every breath and every little move he makes. I can't stop thinking about how he has told me that I make him nervous, how he is a fan of mine.
Andre, the fool, had to cut my moment short, and I have never wanted to strangle someone like I did at that time. I am not a violent guy; hell, I have never been a jealous guy. No one has ever got my attention and made me want to keep him to myself like I am with the boy beside me.
But here I am, wishing Andre could boot, so that I can spend more time with him.
This is dangerous. This is wrong and would be frowned upon.
But tell that to my heart that's racing when he moves his leg as he reaches forward to grab a bag of Cheetos and ends up pressed up against me. Tell that to my now-sweating hands because he has held my thigh for a second.
Andre is laughing as we watch the first vlogs we ever did when we got in the house one year ago. Jude keeps stealing glances at me, thinking I am not noticing, but I can see everything he is doing. I can even imitate his breathing if I want to because that's how aware I am of him.
I am not watching the damn vlogs, hell I couldn't care less. What I am more interested in is how he looks every time I come on the screen. I want to see his reaction to the things I say, the things I do. I want to watch him watch me.
I sound like a psycho right now. This needs to end.
I stand up abruptly, clearing my throat. Jude looks up, frowning at the suddenness of it.
"What's wrong?"
Everything. Me. "I think I will head downstairs and get a decent breakfast. We are about to leave too," I motion at the door, and I head out, not looking back.
When the door clicks behind me, I exhale. What the hell was that?
"Dude, are you okay?" Zein asks me as soon as I sit on the breakfast bar. "You look like you haven't slept at all."
"I haven't slept," I grumble as I sigh, tugging at my short hair.
"Why arent you sleeping? You know rest is a big part of what we do," rin walks in, rubbing my back before going to the other side where zein is and pouring a cup of coffee for himself. "Who made coffee? Usually there is barely any here and I have to do it."
"I thought you did; it was here when I came to make breakfast," Zein looks at Rin in question.
"No, I just came down."
"Jude made it; he was awake before any of us," I say when they look around in confusion.
"Oh, that's nice of him," Zein shrugs.
"Yeah, it is. Why did he wake up so early? Is he okay? Do you know why?" rin asks me frowning as he sips his cup of coffee and seating beside me.
I do know why. I was with him here, seated next to each other as I watched him eat the pancakes that I made. I have never made anyone pancakes before. What the hell is going on with me?
"He said he jogs, so," I shrug, accepting the coffee Zein pours me.
We are all domestic with each other, something that had to happen naturally after living together for a year. Not once in the one year we have been here sharing everything have I ever felt as out of it with any of the boys as I feel with Jude.
"You are so spaced out this morning; make sure you take something for the insomnia," rin suggests as he takes a toast prepped by zein.
"You know I hate meds." I shoot him a look. "And I thought Andre said you weren't making breakfast this morning?" I ask Zein, who pauses before flipping the eggs he is making.
"He has to learn how to cook. Why does he have to wake me up to make him breakfast?" he asks moodily.
"He was hungry. He took all the snacks up to Jude's room." I laugh.
"That's his problem. I need to change my lock," Zein huffs as he sits down with his breakfast.
"He has your key?" Rin's brows rise.