"Apologies, Prosecutor Sena. I'd like a moment to chat with Kazuma and Aqua," Nero said casually as she pulled the two aside, her arms draped over their shoulders.
"All right, no one will hear us here. Now spill it—what exactly did you two do this time?"
"I keep telling you, this has nothing to do with us! Why don't you ever believe me?" Kazuma groaned. "Fine, fine, I'll tell you everything about our last dungeon trip, but you'd better clear my name afterward!"
"If it turns out you truly didn't cause any trouble, I'll apologize and even help clear your name," Nero replied smoothly, a small smile playing on her lips. "I'll even give you a little compensation for the emotional distress."
"…That's more like it," Kazuma grumbled, though he looked somewhat placated.
Kazuma began explaining how, in an effort to make some quick cash, he had ventured into the nearby dungeon. With his unusually high luck stat, he had hoped to find some rare treasures that previous adventurers might have missed.
Initially, he had planned to go alone, relying on the thief skills he'd learned from Chris to sneak past the dungeon's monsters and pilfer any valuables.
Unfortunately, Megumin and Darkness were of no help in dark environments. Megumin, with her single-use Explosion magic, would be useless in a confined dungeon. Even she understood how catastrophic casting Explosion underground would be.
Then there was Aqua. She had insisted on tagging along, proclaiming that as a goddess, her divine sight allowed her to see perfectly in the dark—better even than Kazuma's Farsight skill.
Aqua had also warned him that undead monsters detect enemies through life force rather than sight, making his stealth skills ineffective against them. With no other options, Kazuma reluctantly brought her along.
And then he immediately regretted it.
Thanks to Aqua's divine aura, every undead creature in the dungeon swarmed toward them like moths to a flame. What should have been a stealthy treasure hunt turned into a chaotic undead gauntlet.
Things escalated further when they encountered the dungeon's master, a lich named Keele.
Surprisingly, Keele bore no hostility.
Once a powerful court mage, Keele had fallen in love with a noblewoman. However, her parents had married her off to a king as a concubine in a bid for political favor. The noblewoman endured years of abuse in the royal court.
In a desperate bid to save her, Keele had kidnapped her, proposed marriage, and received an immediate "yes." The two became fugitives, battling the royal army while fleeing for their lives.
Tragically, Keele was gravely injured during their escape. Determined to protect his love, he used forbidden magic to turn himself into a lich. Together, they hid in the dungeon he created, where Keele cared for her until she grew old and passed away.
Keele wished to die alongside her, but as a lich, he couldn't take his own life. So he resigned himself to eternal slumber, hoping his body would eventually decay. Aqua's divine aura, however, had reawakened him.
Moved by his story, Aqua had decided to help Keele find peace.
It was said that, for once, Aqua truly looked the part of a goddess. Bathed in a radiant, holy light, she had smiled gently at Keele and declared:
"Great mage Keele, who defied the heavens to become a lich—I, Aqua, Goddess of Water, hereby absolve you of your sins. When next you awaken, a certain Eris should greet you. She's a goddess with rather… pronounced curves."
"If you don't mind the age gap, or even the lack of gender difference, she'll grant you the chance to see your beloved again. Just pray to her, and she'll make it happen."
As Kazuma recounted this, Nero fell into stunned silence.
Did Aqua… really say something so goddess-like?
Of course, this heartwarming moment couldn't go uninterrupted—Aqua had managed to sneak in a dig at her junior Eris. Truly on brand for her.
Kazuma and Nero exchanged incredulous looks, their gazes shifting toward Aqua, who stood with her hands on her hips and her nose pointed skyward in smug satisfaction.
"Hmm, hmm! You two finally realize the greatness of this goddess, don't you? Now, apologize for doubting me! Especially you, Nero! If you don't buy me a hundred bottles of premium liquor, I won't let you off for grabbing my head the other day!"
"Aqua, impersonating a goddess is a serious crime. You'll be struck by divine punishment," Nero replied smoothly.
"I am a goddess! Aqua, Goddess of Water! Why does no one believe me?!"
Of course, Nero knew Aqua's true identity, but playing along with her frustration was far more amusing.
"Tell her, Kazuma! Tell her I'm the real deal!" Aqua cried, grabbing his shirt and wiping her tears on it.
"Let go! Stop using my clothes as a tissue—how are you this strong?!" Kazuma struggled in vain, eventually giving up as Aqua clung to him like a limpet.
Resigned, Kazuma turned to Nero and deadpanned, "Sorry about this. Aqua has… issues. She keeps claiming she's the actual Goddess of Water."
"It's not a claim! I am the Goddess of Water, you useless NEET!" Aqua retorted, her fists raining down on Kazuma's shoulders as tears streamed from her eyes.
"Waaaah! Nero, please believe me! I really am the Goddess of Water!"
Her tears flowed like a faucet, so absurdly over-the-top that Nero momentarily entertained the thought: If this were real life, only a water goddess could cry like this.
"Ah, I see now. So that's why Aqua always calls herself a goddess—she's delusional. Have you taken her to a doctor?" Nero asked Kazuma with feigned concern.
"I have. The doctor gave up."
"Why won't anyone believe me?! Nero, look at my aqua-blue hair and the divine aura that attracts undead! Isn't that proof enough?"
"Blue hair is rare, but it could just mean you were blessed by the real Goddess of Water. As for your aura… it's not that unique."
Nero's lips curved into a mischievous smile as an idea struck her.
"Let me educate you! A true godly aura is distinct from the sacred energy radiated by priests! The undead are drawn to me because they instinctively seek reincarnation, compelled by my unparalleled divinity—"
Aqua's impassioned explanation abruptly stopped as her eyes widened in disbelief. Her mouth hung open, words caught in her throat.
"What's wrong?" Nero asked, tilting her head in mock innocence.