Since we got to Zent, I have wanted to do something, but I thought Alijah wouldn't like it, so I held off. Well, until…
"Alijah, can I make love to you?" I panted, out of breath, trying to hold every negative emotion down, but it was hard.
His ears perked up when he heard my question, and he quickly met my gaze with a soft smile. However, what caught my attention was his tail wagging. That was when I noticed what I had labeled us fucking as lovemaking.
I…
Nerves rose within me when he licked his bottom lip, "I would like that a lot, but..." he trailed off, cheeks rosy.
He traced his fingers on my vulva again, picking up the lubricant that spilled out of me before grabbing his heat from my hands. He traced his moist fingers on his tip, smothering it with my wetness as another soft smile rose on his lips, capturing my heart.
Jitters erupted from me when I felt him softly rubbing his heat on my entrance.
"Ali—" I whined before throwing myself to kiss his lips.
His fingers had left everything sensitive as he didn't stop rubbing himself on my bell and down my slits while locking his tongue with mine. After a short burst of affection, he tugged away from my lips slightly to gaze at me with those vibrant crimson eyes of his.
"Rem," Alijah breathed, cupping my cheek with his free hand. "You don't have to ask for my permission. Just shove it into yourself whenever you want it." He smirked, pushing the tip into my walls in the form of a tease.
Ah… That's like how I…
In an instant, I took his invitation, pressing myself on him as his full length went into me. The sudden feeling of being filled triggered me to hug him, prompting him to moan into my ear.
"Such a good girl. Responding so fast," he murmured, tugging my face to meet him before clashing his lips against mine.
Unable to hold still, I swayed my hips clumsily, but he didn't mind. Instead of complaining about my inexperience, he leaned back a bit, separating from the kiss for a better view.
"Gods, you take me in so well. Just look at you devouring me." He breathed, gripping onto my breast as mewls left me.
My wolf released moans there to ensure I knew he loved every minute. Soft noises were coming from where we were connected to. It was almost too naughty to bear, yet my hips continued to search for more.
Usually, all I heard was the slapping of our skins and voices, but in this case, it was something else.
I'm in control. More! I want all of it!
My wolf's tail curled around my back for better support. While caressing my breast with one of his hands, he held himself up with his other. Hearing his hoarse voice excited me more as the desire to dominate him increased with each sway of my hips.
However, the moment that thought formed in my head, I felt a snap, allowing a floodgate of insecurities to flow open.
Just how many did this to you while you… Damn it, do I bring you no bad memories? Ah… This is a mistake to be on you like this. I…
I didn't know what my expression became, but Alijah suddenly grabbed onto my face, stopping me in my tracks.
Crap, did I do... something wrong?
"Stop it, Rem. I don't know what you're thinking, but end it." He sighed, kissing me lightly on my lips.
My eyes jolted open as this wolf was too cunning for me.
"What?" I mumbled.
Grabbing onto my hips, he yanked me closer to him so our skins were touching without a single centimeter of space between them. It was too warm. His embrace was too much for me, and I was melting.
"You're like an open book, Rem." Alijah chuckled, nuzzling his nose into mine.
This… all of this… is it genuine? No… you have a choice to make. I can't take away your freedom. Face it… after tonight, this love will probably not survive it.
"You're the best thing I've had in my life. So, stop thinking of anyone else when you're with me." He purred lovingly, holding me in place with one of his hands.
Using the other one to hold on to the back of my head, his lips hovered over mine so temptingly that I didn't know how I held myself off him. His words were breaking through me, though.
Are they true? No… that's the wrong question. Will they remain valid when you see her? No... No, they won't. Our short time together will never replace theirs. Shit! Try to keep it together, Rem. I can't let you fill me with any more false hope.
This is all a moment…
"Are you sure you don't read minds?" I asked, voice shaking.
My wolf rolled his eyes, pushing me onto the ground next to the spring. A second later, he was kissing my neck, trailing down to my chest. Once again, he made me squeal under him as he suckled on my breast like there was no tomorrow before tugging away and sighing.
"I can't read your mind, but I can read you. Something has been bothering you since I got out of the shower, and you aren't telling me straight. So, let me know what silly thing is on your mind now. I want to put it to rest." Alijah finally confronted me, tugging my chin to face him.
Ah… Clever wolf…
This didn't mean he would stop midway through. After those words left his lips, he thrust himself into me roughly. It was almost too much for me to bear. He always held me so animalistic, but it was also adoring.
It was almost as if he wanted me to forget whatever bothered me while I was in his arms. The familiar sound of the slapping of our skin filled the air as it filled along with the squelching of our union. I would usually melt soon after he started, but this time, I feared he'd stop holding me once he knew.
Selfish... like always… I know I'm horrible, but you will run to her tonight if I say anything!
"I-I don't—want you to know." I tried to say between mewls.
Alijah halted his movements, tracing his thumb on my lips. Sweat dripped down his chin and onto my skin, as I shivered under him.
"That serious?" He panted for air, narrowing his eyes.
No… don't stop!
I tried to hold back the tears that were stinging my eyes. This wasn't how I wanted this night to end. I wanted him to fuck me silly until the sun rose. By then, the airships would reopen for the day, too.
I had never begged him for anything since this journey began, but I would break that rule for our last day together.
"Please... hold me until morning. Please?" I begged, holding onto his arms.
Alijah's facial expression changed as his brows scrunched up, tilting his head. His gaze darted to every corner of me, trying to figure out what was wrong.
"Why are you like this?" He questioned, shaking his head.
The tears I was trying to hold back rolled down my cheeks as his eyes opened wide.
I only want one more night with you as your lover. Please Alijah!
My heart stung worse than any of the other times.
This marks the end of our relationship. Did I show you enough? Do you know how much I love you?
Aunty Amelia had once said that it was the worst pain she had ever felt, but she also alleged it was for the best. After all, he ruined their union by bringing another woman into their bed, but in this case, I was the other woman.
Why... can't it be me? Hey... Alijah... choose me when the time comes. Please? I don't know what I'll do with myself if you don't, but… I won't force you to choose me either.
"Please, think about only me tonight." I doubled down, not wanting to tell him anything, reaching to touch his warm cheek.
Though it was agonizing to even think of letting go. I didn't want to know how it would feel once he was gone.
I'll probably be dead inside. Is that how my aunt felt? Ah... You could just kill me if I order it. If only... I could die without hurting you. Ah… there's a way. If you… please don't leave a single piece of me to regenerate.
"I'm thinking only about you. Why won't you tell me what's wrong? Is it because I pushed you into the water? I..." Alijah's voice broke.
This was the first time I had ever behaved like this, but I couldn't stop the agony from gushing out of me. He had poked through the crack, and I had shattered.
Ah… You are a fantastic actor. It seems like you care about me, but all facades end, and these lies will stop soon, but not before I feel you one last time—my payment for helping you heal.
"Please, hold me, Alijah! Don't stop!" I sobbed, prompting his ears to slant back.
"Fine," He breathed, thrusting into me again.
Ah… I'm a wicked woman. Damn it, I'm disgusting for keeping the truth from you. If I told you about it, we would've made it to the last airship for the night. Is it so bad to want a final moment for love one last time?
After all, Lilith would have him for an eternity after me. I was probably the most appalling woman who ever lived—wicked, ugly, and hateful.
I don't have one pure bone in my body.
Mewls soon erupted from me as he kept his pace going, holding me closer to his chest.
"You better tell me everything later," Alijah growled, prompting me to grip him tighter.
Oh... if you only knew everything I'm concealing, you'd probably never want to hold me again.
Much to his word, he fucked me silly as I desired. With each moment that passed, I tried to burn it to memory: every feature, every inch of him. However, unlike other times, my heart shattered into a million pieces as his determination to please me only brought anguish.
Your warmth, your touch… It's all poisonous to me.
Yet, I…
"Harder! Give me more!" I begged, pushing myself to kiss him.
As I had demanded, he tried to give me everything I requested. At one point, I told Alijah that I loved him until my voice became hoarse from crying and moaning.
"Please, don't cry, Rem." He breathed, keeping his movements steady as they brought me the only joy I felt tonight.
After finding my release more than once, this wolf had hoped I would've calmed down, but I didn't. He stared at me momentarily as words refused to leave him. After all, before he left the room, I was excited to spend the night with him in the spring, but it had all become twisted.
I slowly reached for his face, tracing my fingers on his cheek.
Will this be the last thing you remember of me? How pathetic can you be, Rem?
"I love you, Alijah, so much!" I repeated, voice hoarse.
He stared at me, like watching his world falling apart before wincing.
"Stupid, I love you too. Please stop crying, " he whispered, licking my cheek before kissing me in the hopes that it would calm me.
Although I welcomed his affection, his words left me feeling hollow.
Ah... I forced you to say words you didn't want to say. What a horrible person I am. I'm so sorry, Alijah. Please forgive me!
Instead of saying anything else, I focused on our bittersweet tango before he moved rougher. He didn't intend to leave me any time to think about useless things.
My sweet wolf...
Sweat, saliva, and every other liquid from our bodies dripped from us.
Well, all but blood.
My mewls filled the air while he fucked me silly. It wasn't long before I lost myself as my body twitched under him. Filling me to the brim, he erupted within me as I clung to him dearly, humming before releasing him as every fiber felt electrified.
Soft groans left Alijah as he shifted his weight while I panted for air desperately.
"Let's take this to the bed." He breathed, picking me up before dropping me on the soft sheets and fucking me silly there.
The wooden frame creaked under us as I filled myself with the wolf before me.
Nothing else matters. This is everything to me.
By the time the morning came, I had found myself curled up in his arms, unsure of when I had lost consciousness. For a moment, I wanted everything to have been a dream, but the headache clarified that it hadn't been a nightmare.
I felt sluggish about moving after the passionate night I had lived through. This wolf hadn't gone easy on me. If he had bitten me, I would've bruised from how rough he was with me. Slowly, I wiggled my way out of his arms without waking him.
Luckily, I got up earlier than I had hoped.
The airship docks are about to open. I… need to…