And here I stand, shrouded in the shadows of my own self, watching the days pass by without meaning. How absurd it is, to think that I, in all my confusion, am still able to hope. I stand before this silent reality, an unavoidable emptiness, as if my entire existence has shrunk to a grain of sand in the endless ocean of time. Every thought I allow to surface only adds layers of pressing fear, trapping me further in the web of doubts and uncertainties I've woven myself.
Your departure wasn't just the loss of a person. No, it was far deeper than that. It feels as though your entire world vanished along with you, and I'm left as a passive observer at the edge of this bottomless abyss. Do you know? Every passing second is a kind of torture, not from the hands of others, but from a consciousness that slowly extinguishes the fire within me. I'm drowning in absurdity, losing the meaning of everything I once knew, as if I no longer understand how to live.
This fear, which was once so subtle and almost imperceptible, has now transformed into an invisible monster, enveloping my every breath, crushing the desire to move forward. I don't know if this is what you call love, or just a form of self-destruction.
The longing I carry isn't just a feeling that can be expressed with simple words. It is something that lives inside me, piercing my heart and mind, gripping every inch of my awareness, reducing me to a mere shadow of who I once was. Every memory of you becomes a mirror reflecting a face I no longer recognize, a face that can no longer speak of love, only of destruction coming from within me.
What did you truly see in me when you were still here? Was I merely a shadow standing by your side? I try to understand, but the more I ponder, the more I realize how little I know about myself. It's as if my existence depended on your presence, and when you left, I vanished along with you. My life now consists of confusing fragments of memory, trapping me every night in an endless cycle of delusion.
Perhaps, in the end, I was never worthy of you. Maybe that's the truth that has always hidden behind all this fear. And perhaps, even more painfully, I've never truly been worthy of myself. The life I live now feels like nothing more than an empty wait, waiting for something that will never come. I, trapped in the fears that built invisible walls around me, have lost all courage to move forward.
Without you, I am nothing more than an empty shell, a shadow lost in a labyrinth of thoughts with no end. Every step I take feels like a step toward emptiness, and I no longer know how to find a way out. I am trapped within myself, in the darkness I've invited, in the silence I've turned into an invisible prison. And here I am, hoping, in this echoing silence, that maybe one day, somehow, you will understand.
But perhaps even that hope is just an illusion. And I, in my pitiful foolishness, will remain here, with this silence, which slowly consumes my existence.