To tell the truth, Altair didn't have much of any feeling for Nezra, or anyone in this classroom. He appreciated Elizabeth's company and intelligence, and found Alexander's presence amusing, but all of that was still mostly superficial. Deep down, he still felt as alienated as ever, and knew he would cast them all aside if it was ever required. Even Sia and Raphanial were not above being sacrificed if the situation called for it, as much he honestly hoped such a time would never come.
That said...a part of him genuinely did desire for connection, to find someone he could properly associate with and share his burdens. As a Denizen of Infinity, such thoughts wouldn't have come within a mile of him, but after becoming Human his mind had changed. Loneliness, empathy, mundane desires...Altair was wholly unprepared for any emotion other than curiosity. Eons of experiencing life through Avatars had still failed to prepare him for these feelings, as there had always been a screen between them and his real body. Now though, he was thrust face-first into a world of relationships, with nothing to break the storm.
So, what choice should he make now? He didn't care whether Nezra would be punished or not, and he should just throw out the first answer that came to mind. He should. But he didn't.
Instead, he paused and pondered. He thought and contemplated. His brain spun, conversing with his heart and morality on what to do next. He observed Nezra's state, the concealed emotions within his eyes that revealed nothing other than ambiguous intensity. Did he hope Altair would stand up for him? Did he expect something to come from their time together, anything at all? Or was he wholly unbothered and uncaring, attaching as little important to their relationship as Altair himself had? As Altair's mind spun in on itself endlessly, he turned to the others.
Nephelae was a blank slate, but everyone else had some degree of facial expression. Elizabeth was watching in concern, not for him obviously, but for Nezra. It was clear what she wanted him to say.
Ophelia was more neutral, but there was a tightness to her forehead that betrayed her tension. Her heart wanted Nezra to be let go, but her mind and sense of law demanded punishment.
Zeze and Gordan were firmly against letting him off, and were watching Altair with stern eyes, judgement waiting to be cast.
Alexander...had for once, stopped smiling. Instead, he observed Altair much the same way Altair observed him in turn. As they locked eyes, Altair felt more and more that he was looking in a mirror, a reflection that held just as much indifferent disdain and distance from the world as he. His choice here, Altair realized, was both the most insignificant yet vital one that he had every made in his existence. For it would be the final determination of how he would live now, whether he was the Denizen of Destruction Endyr in a new body, or whether he was Altair Atrazark, an individual who holds memories of his past life.
The crossroads stretched out before him, daunting yet enticing, whispering both threats and seductions in equal measure. To the left was Infinity and its endless bounties: unlimited, infinite, unceasing. Anything you could ever wish for, right at your fingertips. But everything also includes nothing, and the journey would be one walked alone. To drown in all the pleasures the Universe could offer yet never be satisfied, eventually cannibalizing even yourself in search of satiety. He was familiar with that life, and longed to return to it even now. To escape the current situation, to up and leave everything behind for greener pastures. Where he could solve all his problems with a flick of his fingers, where he could get to the truth of how he reincarnated in this world. Where his curiosity would be settled, and he could partake in any festivity unhindered by identify or Fate
But to the right was a different view. It showed Sia, it showed Raphanial, it showed Jace and Kulkiri and Alexander and Aryll...everyone that had left a lasting impression of Altair in his short life in Orvonia. To flee would be to abandon them, to cut off his connection and allow the Abominations to wreak havoc as they willed. If he chose Infinity, he would lose any and all sense of responsibility for them, and would do nothing to stave of Orvonia's destruction. He might even partake in the chaos, irresistibly attracted by the ensuing carnage. The thought was an unwelcome one, but in this bizarre state of absolute clarity, he was unable to force it away.
If he left, all his troubles would fall away from him. But that would just be running away, caving in to the pressures of his current life and retreating back to shallow safety. Even if he put aside the morality of abandoning his new family, could his pride allow it? Would the other Denizens really welcome him back with open arms anyway? Endyr was the Denizen of Destruction: his very existence was antithetical to the others'. Ambition, Freedom, Love, Domination...all these things only exist when they can be applied to something else. As the embodiments of these Concepts, the Denizens were reliant on the lifeforms beneath them to continue exerting influence outside the Plane of Infinity. But Endyr has different: he wrought only destruction and endings, reducing the effect other Denizens could hold over the Main Universe. Even if he left Orvonia behind...did he even have a home to return to?
In the midst of his internal struggle, a brief spark of memory surfaced from deep within his soul. It was a time long past, back when Endyr had only recently gained sentience, before he and Makyr had gone their separate ways, before Endyr had taken the title of Denizen of Destruction as his own. Back then, he had encompassed more than what he did now, having had more Concepts attached to him. It was only after focusing on Destruction that he had stripped these bonus Concepts away from himself, in order to refine his path in a singular direction, and becoming more powerful as a result. It was a natural initiation rite all Denizens went through, slimming down the fat and keeping only what they desire to most represent themselves.
Back then, he had possessed a wider view of things, not as single-faceted as he later became. He was not the Denizen of Destruction, but the Denizen of all Conclusions: Death, Endings, Finality, Destruction, Closure and Completion all in one. His Authority was also less negative and more benevolent in nature, with his primary modus operandi being granting the wishes and desires within the hearts of others. It was Eros and Euphrosyne who taught him that, how to grasp the longing inside the hearts and minds of others and bring them salvation, through the peace of death or realization of wishes. It satiated his curiosity and intrigue back then, observing how lesser lifeforms scrambled and prayed and begged for their hopes to manifest
It was only after he and Makyr were no longer inseparable, that he turned away from that path, driven by wrath and grief rather than innocent interest. He had chosen Destruction solely to counter her, to grant all stories a singular and uniform end regardless of their contents. He had become the executioner of Endings, a merciless blade that severed all outcomes.
And as the millions upon billions of years passed, and time began to consume itself, Endyr gradually forgot his original path. The other Denizens did nothing to remind him, not even Eros and Euphrosyne, for a Denizen's path was theirs alone to choose and not even Erebus had the right to interfere in it. His relationships with them began to fray too, with only Eris and Hybrus being willing to contend with his presence, his influence of their Death Legions. What he once held with Makyr was dead and gone, and only unquenchable enmity and bitter grudges remained.
So...did Altair honestly want to return to that?
No, he didn't.
The world blurred around him, ad Altair found himself back in his body, facing everyone's expectant faces. Le'garde was watching him with a subtle smile on his face, hands clasped in front of him. Despite the extensive mental gymnastics Altair had just gone through, only a few seconds had passed in reality. Clearing his throat, Altair levelled his gaze directly at Le'garde and spoke with a clear and calm voice. "Nezra should be let off" he declared boldly.
.....
....
...
Ding!