My eyes scan the area before me, the lush pinks and lavenders throwing me for a loop as I stand at the edge of the small clearing. A very similar cottage to the one that Mother Nature has sits in the middle of the clearing but there is no white fence nor is there an overly grown garden taking up the entire space. Instead, wildflowers and just blooming bushes are scattered around the lush grass. The weather, while overcast, is still much warmer than back home, probably in the mid-fifties.
Rubbing my forearms, I drag in a deep breath and release it slowly.
Okay. I can do this. There's no need to be nervous. Just go over, knock on Haru's door, tell him that I would like to talk with him and the others and see if he will fly over with me to get them. Or if he will go get Suvi and we can meet at Kaia's.
I take a step before freezing.
But what if all of them are busy? I was in such a huff with Ake that I didn't even think about that.
I wring my hands before me as I glance around frantically.
Crap.
Ake was right, I really didn't think any of this through. It's stuff like that that always gets me in trouble. But I'm here already and what if I go home and Ake appears to ask how it went? I can't just tell him I chickened out because I didn't want to bother them when I made such a stink about them needing to be included in what has happened the last three days.
Dragging in another deep breath, I hold it for the count of five before releasing it slowly and start walking across the clearing. The grass barely crunches under my boots, and it feels quite weird not stepping onto snow and more on something that is willing to give under my weight. The small flowers sway as I walk but I keep my distance the best I can, doing my best to keep from spreading any frost.
You can do this. There is no reason that you shouldn't be allowed to visit the other seasons. It's not like there is any bad blood between any of us, I'm sure Kaia is still a little irritated about how short Fall was but we all know that sometimes our seasons do what they want and we are merely there to keep the damages as minimal as possible. I swallow thickly. I really hope she's not still mad about that. Tugging my moist palms into my sleeves, I reach the front step before pausing as faint laughter filters through the door.
A cold pit forms in my stomach.
Oh.
I swallow thickly as a lump forms in my throat as chattering and laughing voices hit my ears. A-A-Ah, okay, guess it's that time of year, huh? My hands tremble as I frantically tug on the sleeves without pulling my arms out. Thought they went to other places to meet up, not at each other's place. I mean, that's fine. It's fine. I'm sure the weather was quite warm today, so that's why none of them asked me. Not that they have to ask me. Because they don't. They really don't. Because it's fine.
It's...Fine.
My vision blurs at the bottom as I swallow to keep myself calm. I'll just come back tomorrow. It's fine. I'm sure I'll make a decision about Conroy by then. And besides, I never told Wind where I was going, I'm sure they're home by now, wondering where I am. I really shouldn't leave Wind in the dark about this.
"Frost?"
I jump, broken from my thoughts as the familiar soft voice of Mother Nature startles me. Turning, I stare at her with wide eyes, heart hammering in my chest.
"M-Mother Nature! What are you—" I start only for the words to die on my tongue when I notice the basket on her arm. My arms hang limply at my sides.
Oh.
"Frost, Sweetheart?" Mother Nature starts again, a frown forming. "Frost, what's wrong?"
With the last of my strength, I pull my eyes from the basket back up to Mother Nature's blurry face. Shifting, I merely shake my head, unable to form words as my throat constricts as I work to keep myself level. Silence follows for a beat before I finally gain the confidence to use my words.
"I..." I pause, blinking rapidly as I look up at the sky as my vision waters. I clear my throat. "I was just...gonna see if I could talk with H-H-Haru." I pause, clearing my throat again. "But, uh, he sounds...busy." I pointedly look at the basket that Mother Nature is holding before glancing back at her face.
A confusion forms on the taller being's face when she finally looks down at her load. I flinch as a rather loud burst of laughter echoes through the door. Mother Nature's head snaps up at the sound and I quickly drop my gaze just as her eyes widen in understanding.
Shit.
Grass crunches under Mother Nature's long stride. Her shadow falls over me and I shrink back as I peek up at her through my bangs. A heartbroken look stares back as she reaches out and cups my cheeks.
"Oh, oh, Frost, Sweetheart," Mother Nature whispers, swiping a thumb under each of my eyes as I swallow to keep from crying as tears take over my entire vision. "Oh, Frost, Jackie, Jackie, listen to me."
My eyes focus on the use of a variation of my chosen name. I stiffly nod as Mother Nature waits for me before she continues. A sad smile forms on her face.
"Jack, I know that this looks bad, especially from your end, but this basket here?" Mother Nature holds the basket up. "This isn't holding what I'm sure you think it's holding."
My eyebrows narrow but I remain silent letting Mother Nature continue. She drops one hand from my cheek and reaches for the basket's lid.
"I'm sure you're thinking that there are a variety of snacks and drinks in here for this gathering that you can hear, right?"
Shrugging, I glare off to the right. Mother Nature sighs.
"Jack. Jackie, look."
Biting the inside of my lip, I force myself to look at Mother Nature as she drops her other hand. She holds the basket up for me to look in and my eyes dropdown. A confused frown tugs on my lips.
Various different fabrics rest on the inside and a few knitted items poke out from around the fabric. With a trembling hand, I reach in and tug on one of the knitted objects only for a brick red mitten comes free. I instantly drop it, my breath hitching as my eyes flicker from the mitten to Mother Nature back to the mitten.
"I—" My chest heaves as I try to breathe normally. "What—?"
Mother Nature coos as a stray tear escapes my eye, burning as it starts down my cheek. Mother Nature catches the tear before it gets too far.
"I was hoping to do this without you really knowing," Mother Nature admits with a sheepish smile. "But I was the one that asked for Kaia, Suvi, and Haru to meet me here today because I wanted to give them these so that they can visit you more often."
My breathing hitches and I bite back a sob as Mother Nature draws me closer for a hug.
"The three of them asked for warmer clothes because, well, they were realizing that what they were doing was not exactly fair on you, excluding you from all of their activities and they wanted to make it as a surprise for you."
A sob does finally escape me and my knees wobble but Mother Nature keeps me standing as she strokes my hair. My ugly sobs are muffled by Mother Nature's clothes as she murmurs soft nothings into my hair, rocking us. After a beat, I pull back, wiping my cheeks as I look up, unsure how to react.
"Why now? Why have they decided now to care?" I ask between sobs, trying hard to keep my voice down, whispering harshly. "They've gone thousands of years without including me in anything. Why have a change of heart now?"
Mother Nature draws back as if slapped, her eyes wide as I stare up at her desperately, heart pounding wildly in my chest. This is all I ever wanted. Why am I so angry? So upset? Shouldn't I be happy that they want to come and visit me?
My frantic thoughts halt as Mother Nature envelopes me in another hug. She kisses the top of my head, which only causes me to start sobbing harder all over again.
"Oh, Jack," She whispers into my hair. "I didn't realize how bad it has gotten. Thousands of years? They never included you in anything?"
My fingers clutch at Mother Nature's dress, having a brief thought of lying before realizing that there really is no use in doing so. I shake my head, chest stuttering as I drag in a deep breath, it wheezing as I release it back out. Mother Nature's hand comes up to hold the back of my head, just holding me against her and I can't help but soak in the warmth she gives up. Just like Ake when he helped me through my panic attack on the roof.
"We will work through this, okay?" Mother Nature murmurs, running her fingers through my hair. "And I'm not going to ask you to forgive them right away, to forgive any of us, but will you at least give them this chance?"
My fingers tighten in her fabric. Should I? This is what I've been wanting, what I've been waiting for since I met the other seasons all those many years ago.
"Do they actually want to try?" I ask, my voice no louder than a whisper and I'm not even sure Mother Nature heard me except I feel her arms tighten around me.
"Yes, Sweetheart, they really want to try. Trust me when I say they came to me after the meeting a few days ago and asked for my help in getting warmer clothes. Apparently, they've been trying for a while but, well, none of them know how to sew."
A wet giggle escapes me. I glance up at Mother Nature as she smiles down at me.
"That was one of the first things you taught me how to do." A watery smile spreads on my lips. "I ripped my pants in a rather embarrassing spot, remember?"
Mother Nature laughs.
"Ah, yes, because you decided to sit on a wet rock and it froze because a bird startled you and when you fell, your pants were stuck to the rock and ripped away way."
My wet giggles mix with Mother Nature's quiet laughter. She pulls back enough to cup my cheeks again, kissing each cheek, the tip of my nose, and my forehead.
"All right?" She asks and I drop my gaze to the grass under my feet.
Am I okay? Right now? Not really. Will I be? Yeah, I think I will. It will be nice to not be so alone anymore. Mother Nature's thumb swipes at my face and I'm surprised to feel something warm and wet spread across my skin. Biting my lip, I realize she is still waiting for a reply and I merely shrug.
"Kinda?"
Mother Nature smiles and kisses my forehead again.
"If you're sure, sweetheart. It's okay if you're not. I won't blame you. This is a lot to add on to what happened two days ago."
My eyes widen.
Oh. Crap. Right. The actual reason I came here quickly rushes back and I laugh nervously. Mother Nature looks at me, her eyes narrowing.
"Jack?"
I quickly drop my gaze, finding my feet more amusing at the moment. So much for not having Mother Nature know just yet.
"Jack Evergreen Frost. What was the real reason that you came here today?" Mother Nature questions, her voice sharp at my lack of answers.
I lift my head but still don't fully look at her. Wetting my lips, I offer her a timid smile.
"Uh, I came here to see if I could get some...advice from the other seasons."
Mother Nature blinks at me, confusion written on her face.
"Advice?" She echos back and I nod. "Advice on what?"
I wince and shuffle about.
"Could...Could I say more when we go inside? I don't wanna have to repeat everything to the others."
Mother Nature's lips purse as she studies me. I finally meet her gaze and hold it, silently begging for her to say 'yes'. A light switch seems to flip at my silent begging and Mother Nature's face softens as she closes her eyes and sighs.
"All right. All right. I can't say 'no' when you look at me like that." She drags a hand down her face, reminding me heavily of her moon sibling before she levels me with a stare. "But I expect to hear the truth from you, young sprite. I mean it, no rig-a-men-roll."
I quickly nod, a relieved smile gracing my lips as I allow Mother Nature to walk past me to reach the door. Okay. Here we go. I can do this. And maybe, Mother Nature won't be as mad as Ake and I were worried about. It'll be fine.
Mother Nature knocks on the door and we wait. I swallow thickly as I tug at my fingers.
It'll be fine.